Shopping
by Bob Bennit
Summary: -COMPLETE- The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. What does Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? Written by Bob Bennit and Megumi Ohira
1. The Odd List

**Shopping**

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome? Snape is a bit OOC.

Chapter One: The Odd List

BB/N: This is a Fanfic written by Naomi (Megumi Ohira) and I! Grammar is awesome! Anyway, since this was co-authored it may be a bit different from the stories I have previously posted. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this, as much as Naomi and I.

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Severus Snape was walking through the Entrance Hall, with a list of Christmas items for the Professor's, with the occasional odd thing here and there. He saw Filch with a long list of names for the students to go into Hogsmeade.

Snape stupidly forgot that this day…was the day students went to Hogsmeade. He tried to pass by Filch, but he stopped him. "You have to wait for the students, Professor Snape."

Snape cursed the day of the allowance that students were allowed to go to Hogsmeade, and he had a feeling Filch was mocking him. He cursed the day Filch was born also, both with passion.

As the students filled the surrounding area of Snape and Filch, they nervously glanced at Snape, which in turn, he glared at them.

"Alright, you bloody prats can go! Don't bring back Dung bombs and Weeps or whatever it is they call them. Also, Snape, have a fun time! Come on Pritty Kitty! Mrs. Norris, you must be cold and hungry!" Filch teased…except…he was serious about his cat.

He walked away, people idly staring at his back. He didn't know that the students thought him odd because he talked to his cat…in front of…people.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione quickly glanced at Snape, and then they sprinted down an icy hill. It was pretty dangerous, but they didn't care.

As Snape went down the hill, Dumbledore and McGonagall watched him. They turned to the Weasley twins, who were standing behind them.

"Are you sure this will work? I mean the Order may be surprised and agitated." McGonagall asked.

"Oh don't worry!" Fred exclaimed.

"It's fool proof." George said.

"That means-"

"I know what that Muggle saying is Weasley. Now go do this, before we change our minds and have an _adult _do it." McGonagall warned, a slight smirk on her face. She knew the Weasley's hated being reminded that they were younger…and not as…experienced.

They bowed, and then they ran down the corridor and out the Entrance Hall.

"This should be highly interesting…but make sure Molly doesn't hear about this. She cares about her family…and will have the Order and the staff members that knew about this entire thing…castrated and whatnot." Dumbledore said with a smile on his face.

-----

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were standing in front of a store.

"Mione! Please don't make us go in there." Ron begged.

"Well it's starting to snow. Why don't we go inside until the snow lets up? Besides, I didn't wear socks, and maybe the owner will transfer my Muggle money into Wizard money." Hermione said.

"Why didn't you wear socks?" Harry asked.

"Don't ask." She said simply.

They walked into the store, and they stepped to the side. Ron's ears were turning red as he saw what was on this shelves and racks.

"There are woman knickers everywhere!" He exclaimed in a whisper to Harry.

"Shut up Ron." Hermione said. She obviously heard the very loud whisper.

Hermione let them walk around, while she tried to transfer her money.

-----

Snape was looking at the list, and crossing off things that he had. He forgot his wand in his bathroom robe pocket, so he had a lot of bags. Everything was crossed off except a store name.

It was starting to snow, so he thought he should quicken his pace. He looked at the store name, 'One Size Fits All'. He's passed by this store many times, but he never actually knew what it was. He looked down at the list and saw,

"_One Size Fits All_

_Size 6 M"_

He stepped inside the store, just as the Weasley Twins were running up the path that passed in front of the door.

George turned around for a second; he saw a couple leaving the store. "Wow, that worked fast."

Fred looked around George and saw the couple. "We didn't even get to do our plan! Stupid bloody Deatheaters!" He exclaimed.

George looked at Fred. "Shh! People will hear you. Let's just do this to the store anyway. Let's be use of something."

Fred and George pulled out their wands, and did their job to the store. The wind was blowing hard, so they accidentally put some of the spells on too strongly.

-----

Snape paused and looked around the store. Who in their bloody mind would send him to a…lingerie store?

Hermione just transferred her money, and she got free samples of lipstick and whatnot. She walked towards Harry and Ron, who were standing behind a shelf…of…bras. Hermione dropped her stuff and put her hands on her hips. "What are you two doing?" She hissed.

"Just talking." Ron said, turning his head to look at her. Harry was nodding his head in agreement.

Hermione stood next to Ron, momentarily forgetting about her things. Ron turned back to Harry, but he saw someone standing in front of the entrance.

"GET DOWN!" He whispered/yelled. He leaped on Hermione and Harry's backs, and pushed them down. Harry landed on Hermione's books, momentarily making him loose his breath.

"What is wrong with you, Ron?" Hermione hissed.

In a high pitched, scared tone he whispered, "Snape."

"What?" Hermione asked.

"Snape!" He said a bit louder.

"What?" Hermione asked again.

"Bloody Hell! Look for yourself!"

Hermione glared at Ron for swearing, but then she stood up. She looked over the shelf and fell. She landed on Harry again, causing him to land on her books and cry out in pain.

"Snape is here. In a…knicker store." Hermione said.

"Get off me please, Hermione." Harry gasped out.

"Oh, sorry Harry." Hermione said, getting off of Harry, but crouching low.

-----

The owner of the store noticed the jumping children, then she looked at her watch. "Hogsmeade was supposed to be cleared of students ten minutes ago." She was about to ask if something was wrong with them, when she noticed Snape. He was still standing stock still on the Entranceway.

"Err…Sir? Do you need help?"

"Mental or Physical?" Snape thought. "Err…no. I'm just doing shopping for my fellow…staff members at Hogwarts. I must have taken a wrong turn. Sorry." He turned back to the door, and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge. He looked out the window.

"Merlin…" Snape said, his eyes going wide.

"Sir?"

"Merlin of Magic. Err…look out the window." He kind of demanded.

The storeowner looked out the window. Her eyes got big. "That is one bad snow storm."

Snape looked at her, his eyebrow twitching. "That is the snow."

She gave him a confused look, and then in one swift movement, she jumped over her counter and out a door that was on the other side of the cash register. You could hear thundering up steps, then a loud,

"MERLIN!"

BB/N: How do you like this chapter? It's different from everything I've typed before. Not a lot of dialog.

MO/N: This is BB's Sister, Naomi a.k.a Megumi Ohira. I actually thought of this plot, and BB helped me with details and such. I'm putting it on her name though. Were kind of mixing styles of typing. I'm a detailer person, and she's a dialog person.


	2. Snowed In

**Shopping**

**Disclaimer: For all Chapters. Views Descretion is Advised**

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

MO/N: Hello people. Welcome to chapter two of…whatever the title says!

Chapter Two: Snowed In

"_Err…Sir? Do you need help?"_

"_Mental or Physical?" Snape thought. "Err…no. I'm just doing shopping for my fellow…staff members at Hogwarts. I must have taken a wrong turn. Sorry." He turned back to the door, and tried to open it. It wouldn't budge. He looked out the window._

"_Merlin…" Snape said, his eyes going wide._

"_Sir?"_

"_Merlin of Magic. Err…look out the window." He kind of demanded._

_The storeowner looked out the window. Her eyes got big. "That is one bad snow storm."_

_Snape looked at her, his eyebrow twitching. "That is the snow."_

_She gave him a confused look, and then in one swift movement, she jumped over her counter and out a door that was on the other side of the cash register. You could hear thundering up steps, then a loud, _

"_MERLIN!"_

-----

Professor McGonagall was doing a head count of her students who went to Hogsmeade.

"Ginerva Weasley!"

"I'm here!" Ginny shouted.

"Ronald Weasley?"

No answer.

"Weasley!"

"I'm here!" Ginny shouted again.

"No! Ron! Where is your brother?"

"Don't know. Don't care." She said angrily.

Professor McGonagall looked around the room for the tallest boy. He wasn't there.

"Harry Potter?"

No answer. "POTTER WEASLEY!"

There was still no answer.

"LONGBOTTOM!"

When she saw Neville, she let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "You went to Hogsmeade am I correct?"

"Yes." He answered, running a hand through his hair. He hated being interrogated by McGonagall.

"Did you see them, by any chance?"

"Err…we hung around a bit…yeah."

"Did you see them leave?"

"Err…no. I had to go with Luna."

McGonagall made another scan. She didn't see Hermione, so she decided to check the Library.

"Just stay in here. We're getting the portraits cleaned."

The students exchanged glances, as she left, but they decided to abide her order.

----

McGonagall searched the Library for Hermione. Madame Pince said she didn't even see her that day. McGonagall looked out the window and noticed that the snow was coming down pretty hard.

She went back out into the corridor and saw Fred and George. They were covered in snow and red in the face.

"WEASLEY!"

She paused. "WEASLEY'S HAVE YOU SEEN POTTER, GRANGER, AND WEASLEY?"

"Err…no Minnie. We saw Professor Snape leave though." Fred said.

McGonagall didn't even take notice at the pet name. "Oh dear…"

She quickly walked to Professor's Dumbledore's gargoyle. "BEAVER SKINS!" She shouted.

The gargoyle jumped and allowed her to go up. She didn't even wait for the stairs to start moving. She ran up them, and into Professor Dumbledore's office. Dumbledore was staring out the window.

"ALBUS! WE CAN'T FIND THE TRIO!"

-----

BB/N: This was a really long chapter. Thanks for reading it!

MO/N: No! We have to add more! What about the people in Hogsmeade?

BB/N: Oh fine! Get on with it!

MO/N: What do you mean by that?

BB/N: Shut up!

-----

The storeowner came downstairs and was back inside the shop. Snape saw Ron, Harry, and Hermione on the floor. His eyes…got huge…his jaw clenched…and he was angry.

"Potter, Granger, Weasley, get off the floor."

They all stood up, Harry rubbing his chest, Hermione fixing her pant legs, and Ron with a bra on his head.

"Ron! Ron…head, head, head!" Harry hissed.

Ron looked around, and then felt the straps hit his head. He quickly took it off and threw it over his shoulder, putting his hands behind his back.

"What are you three doing here?" Snape asked.

"This is a woman store!" Ron said, stating the obvious.

"What are you two doing here?" He asked again.

"I needed to get something…personal…and I don't have socks on!" Hermione said.

"And why don't you have socks on?" The storeowner asked.

Everyone turned and looked at her. "Who are you? If you don't mind me asking." Harry said.

Ron looked at her, staring fixedly. "You look like Madame Rosmerta."

"Oh you know her? Of course you do! I mean she works next door. I'm Emily Rosmerta! Her sister!"

There was silence.

Snape's POV 

_She's pretty…wait! Why am I thinking this?_

Out of Snape's POV 

Emily has black hair, with blue natural highlights…that were very distinct. She has almond shaped dark blue eyes. She was tall, just an inch or two shorter than Snape himself…however tall he is…lets just say she's 6'3. You couldn't tell by her hair that she was in any relation to Madame Rosmerta…but she was. She had tan skin…which as uncommon in England because the weather.

Nobody knew Madame Rosmerta had a sister. But Hermione turned to Ron. "How can you recognize Madame Rosmerta like _that_!" She snapped her fingers when she said, "that"

"Mione! Why do you think I recognize her like that! I don't think of anyone like that other than…someone!"

"And do you know who that someone is? Rosmerta!"

"Err…that's my sister."

Snape looked at Harry, then Hermione and Ron.

"Rosmerta! Rosmerta! Rosmerta!" Hermione yelled.

"I DO NOT THINK OF HER LIKE THAT MIONE! THAT IS ABSURDIDLY NOT FUNNY AND NOT WITH ME RIGHT NOW!" Ron shouted.

This lost everyone…except Hermione. "DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT RON! I KNOW WHAT YOU THINK!"

Ron and Hermione glared at each other.

Harry shrugged his shoulders. "So, were stuck in here Madame Emily. Is there anyway to floo?"

"Err…sure. Everyone, lets go upstairs." Emily said.

Everyone went through the door, Emily leading the way and Snape in the back. Harry was between Hermione and Ron, who were still having a silent argument.

Emily opened another door out of many doors in the hallway. It was a kitchen. It was small and cozy, just enough room for five or six people.

"Your fireplace has been over flowed with snow." Snape pointed out.

Emily pulled out her wand from her pants pocket. "Incendio!"

The snow melted, but more replaced it. After several meager attempts Emily cleaned up the water on the floor and looked at Snape. "Why don't we try apparating?"

"I don't have my wand." Snape said.

Ron eagerly pulled his out. "I'll try." He wanted to get as far away from Hermione for the time being.

Ron apparated away, and they wondered if he made it. Then they heard stomping up the steps. Ron opened the door. "It didn't work. I tried apparating to the outside of Hogwarts."

Emily sighed. "I guess you're stuck."

"No." Snape said.

Snape went to a window and tried to open it. It was iced shut. "No. Please no. Stuck in a building…with three teenagers. No, please Merlin no." Snape muttered.

Emily thought for a moment, "I guess we should make something for dinner."

"I can't cook." Hermione announced.

"I don't want to cook." Harry said, remembering the times when he had to cook for the Dursley's.

"I love to cook!" Ron said.

Emily led Ron to her Muggle fridge. Harry, Hermione, and Snape sat at the table and watched Ron and Emily take things out of the fridge.

"Now…err…what are your names? The lot of you."

"I'm Hermione Granger."

"I'm Ron Weasley."

"And I'm Harry Potter."

"Oh, I knew your mum. I know your mum also Ron. Now what is your name?" Emily said, turning to Snape.

"I'm Professor Snape." Snape said, leaving it at that.

Ron could have sworn there was a blush on her face. But he ignored it.

"Now we have to reserve food for tomorrow or whatnot."

"No we don't." He said, pulling more and more out of the fridge.

Emily cocked her head to the side.

"We'll have plenty of leftovers. Plus Mione knows how to conjure up plenty." Ron said, hoping to get on Hermione's good side. It worked.

"Why thank you Ron!" Hermione said, with a smile.

Harry coughed. "Flirter."

Snape smirked, and Emily laughed, but covered it up with a sneeze. Ron and Hermione were the only ones who did not get it.

-----

"And then mum told me no!" Ron said as he ate some more of his pie.

"Are you serious?" Emily asked.

"Honestly. I don't lie."

"Then what was the story about?" Snape asked, actually enjoying himself…with three teens and a pretty witch.

"It was the 'talk'. I was supposed to lie!" Ron said.

"At least you got the 'talk'. I had to learn by myself…"

Everyone turned and looked at Harry. "I meant at school! Primary School. In a room full of guys…like me."

"Abnormal?" Snape asked.

"Ye- No!" Harry said, dropping the subject and continuing to eat.

Hermione turned to Ron. "What did you do to Ginny that made her so angry at you?"

Ron thought. "I accidentally burnt a picture of Harry…and then I yelled at her and told her to ask her boyfriend for another one."

"Why would I be carrying around a picture of myself?" Harry asked.

"I know people who do that. A man…Guilderoy or something? Lockhart. He's in St. Mungo's. Crazy old coot. Thinks everyone needs to have a photo of him." Emily said.

Ron nervously laughed, since it was his wand that made him crazy.

"I don't want to sleep with woman's knick…where are we sleeping?" Harry asked.

"Hmm…there are two bedrooms in this building. Hermione why don't you sleep in my room, and you three can sleep in the other one."

Harry, Ron, and Snape stared at each other.

"All right!" Hermione said, enjoying the guy's discomfort.

"Then it's settled." Emily said happily.

BB/N: All right! This one has lots of dialog. Anyway, I hope you like it. I'm listening to an annoying song. "Drop It Like It's Hot" By Snoop Dogg. It bothers me but…I guess I'll listen to it.

MO/N: Till next Chapter! See ya later!


	3. Hairy

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

BB/N: This is thou chapter three. God bless ye.

Chapter Three: Hairy

"_I don't want to sleep with woman's knick…where are we sleeping?" Harry asked._

"_Hmm…There are two bedrooms in this building. Hermione why don't you sleep in my room, and you three can sleep in the other one."_

_Harry, Ron, and Snape stared at each other._

"_All right!" Hermione said, enjoying the guy's discomfort._

"_Then it's settled." Emily said happily._

-----

"What do you mean by that Minerva?"

"I mean we can't find Harry, Ron, and Hermione."

Dumbledore stood up. "Did you check the Library?"

McGonagall nodded her head. "And I did the head count."

"All right. Have all Professor's search the castle."

-----

"Nothing Albus, and Severus isn't here either."

"Well…have you tried outs- Wait, no Severus?" Dumbledore asked.

"He isn't in the building. I sent the Ghost's everywhere and Hagrid is outside. " McGonagall said.

Dumbledore sat down and rubbed his temples. He was worried. Worried about three of the most important people to save the world…and a potions Master. McGonagall paced his study, not quite sure what to do next. They searched the castle, what they could of the grounds with Fang and Hagrid, Firnez checked the Forbidden Forest, and even the Weasley Twins searched in there own way. (They stole the Map from Harry, Ginny showed them where it was)

"Hogsmeade people are coming. Including Madame Rosmerta and her sister. Maybe they can enlighten us with the situation, with good news, not bad. Maybe Severus and the kids are with them, having been in the Three Broomsticks." McGonagall said thoughtfully.

"Should we try to floo over there?" Dumbledore asked.

"Floo where?" McGonagall asked, not stopping her pacing.

"To the Three Broomsticks." Dumbledore said with a sigh.

Professor McGonagall explained to Professor Dumbledore that, everyone from Hogsmeade was coming to Hogwarts, because of the snowstorm.

"Then we'll just have to wait for them." Dumbledore said.

-----

It was going onto 10:30 p.m. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were getting situated for bed. Harry, Ron, and Snape shared a little guest room, and Hermione slept with Emily in her room…on the floor of course. Harry and Ron gave Hermione a futon, which is a Japanese bed that Emily happened to have, and they're very difficult to conjure up.

Harry and Ron only had pillows and blankets…on the floor…with Snape. Ron was okay sleeping on the floor, as well as Snape. But Harry on the other hand could not get a grip on the floor sleeping idea. Harry rolled constantly.

"Just stop rolling, Harry!" Ron said, buffeting him with a pillow.

"I can't! For the first ten or eleven years of my life, I slept on the floor. Then, after that, I got a bed. I liked the bed. I don't like the floor…anymore!" Harry complained.

"Shut up! I'm trying to sleep! Everyone in this house can hear you complain. Do you want to be known as a 'Complainer'?" Hermione asked, leaning on the doorframe.

"That was like the first time I've ever complained in my life!" Harry said.

Ron tried to imitate Harry. "I don't like this class! I want to go somewhere else. This is boring." Does that sound familiar Harry?"

"Shut up! I didn't do that." Harry said.

"JUST GO TO SLEEP!" Hermione yelled, walking back down the hallway, and to her room.

Harry and Ron gave up on arguing, and tried to sleep. They almost did.

-----

"Is it true he had to sleep on the floor?" Emily asked, sympathetically.

"Yeah, so?" Snape replied, unsympathetically. Meeting Lord Voldemort was a lot more sympathetic than sleeping on the floor.

"You know, you've got to lighten up a bit." Emily said with a smile.

Snape took a long draught of coffee from a Care Bear Muggle Mug. Snape looked at his mug. "Who are these ugly colored bears?"

Emily rolled her eyes. "The Care Bears of course. One of the most annoying shows and bear's on Earth. Honestly, they need to die."

"Wow, you can say something negative."

"And your hair is greasy." Emily said with a smirk. Snape drank his coffee, glaring at her over his mug.

"You know, I _had _that problem, a long time ago." Emily said.

"What…problem?" Snape asked.

"Greasy hair of course! My sister always had the finer hair. But me, no. I got my dads hair. Greasy and unwell. Like yours!"

Snape felt a little uncomfortable with the idea of his hair as a topic of conversation between him…and Emily.

"What did you do to fix it?" Snape asked. "Because I like your hair, it's pretty." He thought.

"Come on! I'll show you!" Emily stood up and dragged him out of the kitchen. She ran down the hallway, dragging Snape along. She stopped in front of the bathroom, and kicked the door open, forgetting she had guest. She pushed Snape in there, went in behind him, and locked the door.

"What are you doing?" Snape asked, a little frightened.

Emily dug around in her medicine cabinet that was very large. She pulled out many little items, each one scarier than the first, in Snape's opinion.

"Where is it?" Emily muttered to herself. "Please don't make me have to go down to the store and get some more."

"She's going to put knickers on my head!" Snape thought.

"Here it is!" Emily said.

She had two bottles. One of shampoo, another a conditioner. She grabbed Snape's hand again, and turned on the water.

"Do you like hot water, or hotter water, because it's pretty cold?" Emily asked.

Snape looked at the water. "Are you trying to kill me? That is already hot water. Just leave me alone Emily!"

"Actually, my cold water steams. I've been trying to fix it for years." Emily said, a finger on her chin. Snape looked around the bathroom, and that was when Emily took her cue. She pushed, making him fall on his knees, and then she dunked his head in the water. "Hehehe! I was lying. My water is hot."

"Glub, glub, blub!"

-----

Hermione sat up, scared out of her mind. She heard a door slam and lock. She jumped from her futon and ran to the guy's room. "Ron! Harry! Dear god! Emily is…doing something to Snape…in the bathroom."

"You know, that's never a good sign." Ron said sleepily.

Harry didn't answer. He was asleep.

"I can't go back in there. Not by myself."

"Then lets go listen to what they are doing." Ron said.

Ron poked Harry until he was awake. "Come on, were going to hear what Snape and Emily are doing in the bathroom."

"You know, that's never a good sign. Never at all." Harry groggily said, putting his glasses on.

They tiptoed down the hallway and right outside the bathroom.

"Is that water running?" Hermione whispered.

"Glub, glub, blub."

"She's drowning him!" Ron exclaimed.

-----

"Oh! I'm sorry Professor." Emily pulled his head out of the water.

Snape took in large gulps of air. "Please leave me alone."

"But look at your hair. It's all wet."

"You put it in hot water." Snape said, glaring at her, and rubbing his eyes.

"Just let me wash it, and condition it." She said, shoving his head underwater again.

-----

"She's just washing his hair!" Harry said sleepily.

"It still scared me." Hermione said, walking alongside Ron and Harry down the hallway, back to the guy's room.

"Go back to sleep Mione." Ron said.

"I was never asleep! And I am not going in there by myself." Hermione declared.

"Fine, sleep in here." Ron said.

Ron turned around and got her pillow and blanket. He gave them back to her, and then he lay down.

Since the room was so small, she couldn't really get away from them, so she slept next to Ron. There was just enough room for Snape, and for Harry to still roll around.

-----

After she washed his hair, and conditioned it, and dried it, they just stood there.

Snape looked in the mirror; his hair was slightly poofy, but very uneven. "I need to cut my hair."

Emily pulled out her wand and cut his hair in one even swipe.

Snape stood still, scared. "What did you do?"

"I cut your hair silly. Now take off your shirt."

Snape took that the wrong way. "Err…I'd rather not."

"No," Emily said, blushing slightly. "Your shirt is wet, and it's cold. You'll get colder. You'd be better with the wet shirt off."

"I am not taking off my shirt…with two woman in this house."

"Then you can freeze!"

-----

Snape laid down, the covers pulled up to his chin. "I can't believe I don't have a shirt on. Granger is in this room for Merlin sakes!"

Emily peeked into the room. "Don't Ron and Hermione look so cute together?"

"Please don't ask for my opinion. They're my students."

"Oh, right. Forgot. Well night Professor Snape."

"Goodnight Emily."

-----

"Professor Dumbledore, the Hogsmeade people are here." McGonagall called.

"All right Minerva, I'll be down in a moment."

Dumbledore put away his pensive, and then he left his office, and down the steps. Madame Rosmerta was standing at the bottom of the staircase. "Albus! Have you seen Emily? I can't find her."

"She's missing too? That's five people." Dumbledore muttered.

"Five people? Emily isn't dead is she?" Madame Rosmerta asked frantically.

"We're not sure…were missing three students and a Professor." Dumbledore said. McGonagall was reassuring Rosmerta that everything would be fine and solved in the morning.

BB/N: All right! This was the last chapter! I'm kidding. Did I scare you? Anyway, to all ye reviewer, it was Naomi's idea to write the part about the bra in the last chapter. Anyway, I'm doing a favor for my brother. You see, he wants to write a fanfic, but he's not sure if anyone would like it, so I'm going to post the summary in a later chapter, because I can't find it.

MO/N: The next chapter will be a little later in that week. How many days will this take?

BBMON/N: For all ppl who are confused with Fred and George. We will explain, all the weird parts, eventually. But not now...or ever...love ya all!


	4. Isn’t it Obvious?

Shopping 

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

MO/N: Happy/ Merry Christmas! Stupid bloody sayings of the British (not literally).

Chapter Four: Isn't it Obvious?

"_Professor Dumbledore, the Hogsmeade people are here." McGonagall called._

"_All right Minerva, I'll be down in a moment."_

_Dumbledore put away his pensive, and then he left his office, and down the steps. Madame Rosmerta was standing at the bottom of the staircase. "Albus! Have you seen Emily? I can't find her."_

"_She's missing too? That's five people." Dumbledore muttered._

"_Five people? Emily isn't dead is she?" Madame Rosmerta asked frantically._

"We're not sure…were missing three students and a Professor." Dumbledore said. McGonagall was reassuring Rosmerta that everything would be fine and solved in the morning.

-----

Ginny woke up, and immediately went to see Hermione. She only saw Lavender and Pavarti sleeping. She quietly closed the door and ran to the seventh year guy's dormitory. She saw Dean, Neville, Seamus, Fred, and George.

"Hey! You're not supposed to be in here!" Seamus called from his bed. He was the only one up.

Pointedly ignoring his comment she went on. "Where are Harry, Ron, and Hermione?"

"They never came back!" Fred shouted in his sleep. "Candied Lemon pie burgers!" He shouted after that.

Silence…

Ginny ran to Fred, and shook him awake. "Why are you in Ron's bed?"

"How do you know this is Ron's bed?" Fred said, squinting at Ginny.

Ginny slapped him. "There is a trunk with a giant "R" and he's the only one who likes the Chuddley Cannons. He likes them so much that he'll have a Chuddley Cannon's poster and pillow!"

"Oh." Fred mumbled, sitting up. By now, everyone is awake. George traveled to Ron/Fred's bed and sat on it.

"What's the matter Gin?" He asked.

"They're still gone!" Ginny cried out.

"Snape might be with them, or they might just be playing a trick. They could be in the Shrieking Shack or something." Fred said.

"Did you check the map?" Ginny hissed.

"Of course we did! We're not dunder heads." George said, placidly.

"Yeah!" Fred added. He still wasn't fully awake.

"Were they there then?" Ginny asked.

"Err…no." George said.

"Then why would they go there then?" Ginny asked.

-----

"I wonder, are they worrying about us at school?" Hermione asked Emily.

"Probably. I'm supposed to be there right now. Usually when it storms really badly, we go to Hogwarts. Michelle is probably there."

"Michelle?" Hermione asked.

"Yeah, Madame Michelle Rosmerta. You didn't know her first name?" Emily asked.

"No I didn't."

She and Hermione talked for a little bit.

-----

Ron woke up, feeling really hungry, and the fact that Harry just basically rolled over him. He stood up and went downstairs, because he heard Hermione and Emily talking.

Snape was asleep until the sun rose over the snow in the window, and was shinning in his eyes.

"Bloody window." Snape murmured. Snape was about to stretch, when he noticed that his cover was gone. He looked at the sun again.

Harry rolled next to Snape, and hit him three times on the stomach, then his hand rested there.

Snape was surprised, and he looked around wildly. The he looked down, and saw Harry, rolled in his blanket and Snape's blanket, and his hand was on his stomach. Harry hit him three times…

Snape threw Harry's hand away, and jumped up. He tried to walk out of the room, but he heard a crack, crack, jumble, and jumble. He looked down, and realized he stepped on Harry's glasses. Cursing, he picked them up, and the shattered lenses, and took them with him to the kitchen. He grabbed Hermione's wand, then went downstairs. He ran down the steps, rubbing his stomach. The wand and glasses were in his pocket.

-----

"Then dad told me no!" Ron said, waiving a hand in the air.

Emily and Hermione were laughing at Ron's story.

BB/N: Has anyone noticed that Ron does that a lot? In the second chapter he said, "And mum told me no!" LoL. We just couldn't think of anything to type.

"Granger! Fix these!" Snape said, still rubbing his stomach. He pulled her wand and the glasses out of his pocket, and set it on the counter.

Hermione looked at Snape, then turned away, her face red. Emily giggled, and Ron stood stock still, stunned.

"What?"

"Err…Professor, please put a shirt on. There are children here!" Emily giggled.

"Oh." Snape looked around, and saw his black shirt hung up and dry. He put it on.

Hermione looked at Harry's glasses. "What happened to them?"

"Potter rolled on them." Snape said.

Ron nodded his head. "That's believable. Can you honestly believe that he rolled over me? He was between Professor Snape, and me then he woke me up because he rolled over me. He probably would have killed Mione if she were there." Ron said.

Hermione sighed and muttered, "Reparo!" And then she used a spell that made it impossible to break.

It was quiet for a moment, and then they heard thunder. Harry fell down the steps and hit the door.

Ron opened the door, and Harry rolled out. He stood up. "I'm okay, honestly. I don't have my glasses." While rubbing the bruises on his chest he got the day before. He kind of lost his shirt.

"Oh those are pretty bad bruises." Emily said.

"I fell on Hermione's books. It was yesterday. It's getting hard to breath."

Hermione handed him his glasses. "Here Harry."

Harry put them on. "Why were they down here?"

"Err…they were sticking on Ron's…shirt…robe thing." Hermione said.

"Why didn't you put them back?" Harry asked.

"We just found them." Ron said.

"Oh."

-----

Later in the day, Snape conjured up a potion using Emily's wand. He gave it to Harry so it would be a bit easier to breath and whatnot.

Ron and Hermione were alone in the kitchen. They were making a grocery list. It didn't look like the snow was going to let up.

"So, if we have leftovers from last night. We can have them for lunch today." Hermione said.

"Okay, then would you be able to conjure up stuff for dinner?" Ron asked.

Hermione nodded. "What are we going to have?"

"Let's put it on this list." Ron said.

Behind the door Harry and Emily were listening. "How could they be talking like that? Last night they were like lion's trying to attack one another." Emily whispered.

"Well, they're best friends who happen to be in love with each other, and they won't tell." Harry said.

"Isn't that obvious? I could tell for years." Snape appeared out of nowhere.

"What's obvious?" Hermione yelled from the kitchen.

"Laundry detergent. It's blue, isn't that obvious?" Snape asked.

"Oh…yeah it is."

Snape turned around and left, leaving Emily and Harry alone and confused.

"Okay…" Emily said.

----

It's hectic at Hogwarts. It was the second night, late, late at night. Remus Lupin, the DADA Professor was substituting for Slytherin. Remus asked the same question over and over again. "Have you seen Harry, Ron, and or Hermione?" He finally got to Draco Malfoy.

"Have you see Harry, Ron, and or Hermione?" Lupin asked.

"Potter, Weasley, and Granger are dead." Malfoy said behind his hand.

Remus gasped. And left.

"Probably." Malfoy added to himself.

-----

"THEY COULD BE ALBUS!" Remus shouted, running into the office.

Sirius was in Dumbledore's office, holding a 'Special Edition Daily Prophet'. "What is this about? It says Peter Pettigrew has escaped Azkaban Prison. His last words heard from him were, "Voldemort is gonna get the five! Voldemort is gonna get the five!" And then I read on and find out five people are missing, including Harry Potter." Sirius said angrily. "Why hasn't anyone told his Godfather about this. It's been two days since anyone has seen him!"

"What do you mean Remus?" Dumbledore asked.

"I just talked to Malfoy!" Remus said.

"So?" Sirius said.

"He said Harry, Ron, and Hermione were dead! And you know how he has his connections with his father. The DEATHEATER." Remus said.

Remus, Sirius, and Dumbledore all looked at the fireplace, as the fire lit up. Out came Molly Weasley, holding the same paper, her wand clutched in her hand. Arthur was right behind her, holding the same paper, his wand clutched in his hand just as tightly. Sparks were emitting from their wands.

"WHERE IS MY SON?" Molly bellowed.

-----

"I wonder what Mum doing." Ron said.

"Why?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know. When I think about cooking and grocery lists, I think about Mum. And right now, I think she is angry and upset, and yelling at someone."

-----

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE MY SON IS?" Molly yelled.

"Mrs. Weasley, calm down."

"DON'T TELL HER TO CALM DOWN! WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY!" Arthur yelled.

McGonagall came in, with Ginny, Fred, and George. Ginny ran to her mum. "Mummy! Ron and me got in a fight, and I told him I hated him! And I haven't seen him. I feel awful. He could be lying in a bloody he-"

"Ginny don't think that way. We will find your brother, and my Godson." Sirius said.

"And my almost Daughter, soon to be daughter, Hermione!" Molly shouted.

"Won't WE Albus?" Arthur asked.

-----

"I think my dad is angry too!" Ron said.

BB/N: This was really interesting. It goes back and forth. Ron should be a seer. Also, in this fanfic, Sirius came back from the dead somehow in Harry's sixth year…okay? So he was dead. He was…

MO/N: I feel bad for Dumbledore a little bit. I would be quite frightened if I were him.


	5. Peach and Pink

Shopping 

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

BB/N: Ron is not a seer...he is just special...

Chapter Five: Pink and Peach

_-----_

_"I wonder what Mum doing." Ron said._

_"Why?" Hermione asked._

_"I don't know. When I think about cooking and grocery lists, I think about Mum. And right now, I think she is angry and upset, and yelling at someone."_

_-----_

_"YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE MY SON IS?" Molly yelled._

_"Mrs. Weasley, calm down."_

_"DON'T TELL HER TO CALM DOWN! WE HAVE A RIGHT TO BE ANGRY!" Arthur yelled._

_McGonagall came in, with Ginny, Fred, and George. Ginny ran to her mum. "Mummy! Ron and me got in a fight, and I told him I hated him! And I haven't seen him. I feel awful. He could be lying in a bloody he-"_

_"Ginny don't think that way. We will find your brother, and my Godson." Sirius said._

_"And my almost Daughter, soon to be daughter, Hermione!" Molly shouted._

_"Won't WE Albus?" Arthur asked._

_-----_

_"I think my dad is angry too!" Ron said._

-----

On the third day of being snowed in, Hermione, Harry, Ron, and Snape got in a messy mess of…pancake batter.

You see it went like this. Ron was supposed to be making blueberry, raspberry, banana pancakes for dinner. It was his own creation that no one had ever tried before. Hermione decided to watch Ron make pancakes, while Emily was looking for her chess set, with the help of Harry and Snape.

Hermione, went up to Ron, and stuck her finger in the batter. "This is good." She said.

Ron hit her hand with the clean spatula. "Don't do that Mione! There has to be some left for everyone."

Hermione stuck her tongue out. "I'm not going to eat it all." She stuck her finger in it and got some more.

Ron gasped. "You double dipper!" He got a spoonful, and flung it at her.

"Ronald Weasley! I was clean!"

Ron smirked at her.

She got a handful and flung it at him.

"This is war!" Ron yelled.

Harry walked into the kitchen to get his wand. Emily's cabinet door was jammed shut. Ron grabbed a handful and flung it at her. Hermione ducked, and it hit Harry, square in the face.

"RON!"

Harry took off his glasses and tried to clean them. It wasn't working. Hermione and Ron started laughing at him.

"Oh, you think that's funny? Do you?"

He pushed past Hermione and grabbed the bowl. Hermione and Ron got scared. Harry picked the bowl up and swung it around, getting everyone covered in batter, and everything.

"THAT'S IT HARRY! YOU'RE INCLUDED!" Ron bellowed. (MO/N: In the war that is)

The batter refilled automatically, as they flung more at each other.

-----

"What is that…screaming?" Snape asked.

"I don't know. Will you check for me?" Emily asked.

"All right." Snape said, sighing.

He left the room, and went through the hallway, and to the kitchen door.

-----

Hermione found three bowls. Harry, Ron, and Hermione had there own bowls, and they refilled them with batter, and flung it at each other.

Hermione had two handfuls of the batter. She flung it and…Ron and Harry ducked.

The door opened, seconds before, and the batter that Hermione just threw, hit the person standing in the doorway.

"Oh…no…" Hermione whispered.

They could see black hair, black pants, black shirt, and black socks.

Snape, wiped the batter from his face, and there was a lot, and flung it at Hermione, landing in her hair. "Don't…throw…food."

If the batter wasn't on his face, you could see a small…microscopic smile.

Emily was behind Snape. She screeched and pushed past Snape and found her wand underneath a lot of batter. "My Kitchen! Oh well…Scourgify!" Emily pointed to her ceiling, floor, walls, chairs, everything.

"I'm sorry!" Hermione cried out.

"To me or Professor Snape?" Emily teased.

"I'm sticky!" Ron said.

"Who's going to take their showers first?" Emily asked.

"I am!" Hermione and Snape said at the same time.

"Rock, paper scissors!" Harry yelled.

"What's rock, paper, scissors?" Snape asked.

Hermione and Harry explained what the game was to Snape and Ron. After a couple times explaining it to Ron, they understood. They played a couple of practice games before they actually played it for real. Emily watched with interest.

In the end, Snape hated the game.

Shower Order:

1st. Ron

2nd. Snape

3rd. Harry

4th. Hermione

"I swear if you three take all the hot water I will kill!" Hermione hissed, when Ron went to the bathroom with a towel.

Snape looked at Hermione, she looked real angry. Maybe she should have gone first, especially with all that hair.

-----

Molly, Sirius, and Rosmerta weren't able to sleep. Molly was in tears, and Sirius was comforting her. Rosmerta was taking trips to the kitchens to get coffee and food.

"My baby is missing Sirius!" Molly said, for the fourth time in the past night and day.

"It'll be fine Molly."

Arthur wasn't there. He was in Romania, England, and the Ministry. He needed to get all of the Weasley's together.

Earlier that morning, some of the Professor's interrogated Neville until he was in tears. Professor McGonagall had to comfort Neville and tell him it wasn't his fault. They also talked to a few of the shopkeepers to see if they had seen any of the missing people. None of them had, or couldn't remember.

Charlie burst through the fireplace of Dumbledore's office, "What do you mean Ronnie is gone!"

Bill was behind him, then Percy. Arthur came a few minutes afterward, after talking to Fudge. After Bill gave his mother a hug, Arthur gave them the bad news.

"Fudge said if we can't find them by Christmas, December 25, then he is going to announce to the press that…Ron…Harry…Hermione…and…Severus…and Miss Emily…are dead." Arthur announced.

Molly burst into new tears, and Ginny started to cry softly. She clung onto Charlie, as Bill took over for comforting his mother by Sirius. Sirius just sat still. Letting the news wash over him like water.

Sirius declared that if he found Voldemort he would vow to kill him. He's killed…Lily, James, and maybe Harry. His cousin Ron, and there best friend Hermione…and Snape…who was special in some way.

-----

Harry, Ron, and Snape were sitting on the living room floor, with just towels on, around their waist's. Emily slowly knocked on the door. "Are you decent?"

"No. But come in anyway." Snape said.

Emily, not quite sure what that meant, peeked in. She saw that they were dressed and walked in. "Come on! You need to go downstairs and find something to wear." She laughed nervously.

"Why are you laughing nervously?" Ron asked.

"There are only girl nightgowns down there."

"And?" Snape asked, knowing she wasn't telling everything.

"Well…something weird happened, and your clothes have kind of…shrunk…and they won't change back." She said, pointing to Snape and Ron.

"What?" Snape and Ron asked.

Ron stood up, and tightened his towel. "I'm not going to stay in a towel all night long."

Snape stood up too. His towel was already tightened. Harry stood up, because he didn't want to be on the floor by himself.

Emily was about to say something, when a high-pitched, blood curdling, feminine scream erupted from the bathroom.

Automatically Harry and Ron ran to the door. There hands were on the knob, when they stopped. "She's a girl." Ron commented.

Emily rolled her eyes, and pushed Ron and Harry out of the way. She knocked on the door. "Hermione, are you okay?"

"THERE IS NO HOT WATER! I SWEAR THERE WILL BE NO MORE QUIDITCH CAPTAIN, NO MORE POTIONS MASTER, AND NO MORE POTTERS! YOU CAN'T WASH HAIR WITH COLD WATER!"

Harry, Ron, and Snape exchanged glances. They were in trouble. "I think we should hide." Harry said.

"I know how to fix it." Ron said, nervously. Living as a Weasley with nine other people in the house, did have its advantages. You knew how to fix stuff with and without magic.

"Oh boy. Ron I don't think you can handle seeing the love of your life in the shower." Harry said, with a smirk.

Ron kicked Harry in the shin, really hard. Then he explained to Emily how to fix the water. Emily went into the bathroom, and fixed the shower, telling Hermione that Ron told her how to do this. It was Ron.

After ten minutes, Hermione came out of the bathroom wearing pajama bottoms with a matching shirt. They were pale yellow.

She shut her eyes immediately, until the guy's got the point, and left. She and Emily waited for Harry, Ron, and Snape. Harry came up the steps first. He was wearing the clothes he was earlier. But Snape and Ron weren't coming.

-----

"You go first Weasley."

"No, you're the adult."

"Well, if I'm the adult, I say you go first."

"But I'm wearing the pink one."

"So? Why don't you go first, and I'll come up there after you."

"No. That's thesame idea as before."

"Your girlfriend is up there."

"And so is yours!"

Snape glared at Ron. Ron ran up the steps, faster than intended. Snape was smirking wickedly. He loved the glare.

Snape was about to go upstairs when he heard something. "Mew". He looked around the corner and saw a shadow of something run past. He was about to investigate when he heard Ron yell, "Bloody Hell! This is short!" Snape shrugged it off and went up the steps…slowly.

-----

"Nice pink Ron." Harry commented, for the fourth time. He already had fun poking at Snape.

"Shut up Harry."

"Pink looks nice on you. And peach looks fine on you Professor."

"Potter, if you say it one more time, I will give you a detention and you will serve it in your underwear in the girls lavatory."

"And you will be kicked off of the Quiditch team! Ginny has been looking at that seeker job again. I could just give it to her!" Ron said.

Harry backed off. "All right, all right."

Emily told them it was time for bed. And Hermione defiantly knew not to sleep in the boy's room. Her face was bright red at all times, when she was in the presence of Ron. Same for Emily, but it was Snape, not…Ron.

BB/N: This chapter was interesting to write. I guess we had fun writing it.

MO/N: I want to fight in a pancake batter fight!


	6. Hypothetically Speaking

**Shopping**

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

MO/N: I am not a Bully!

Chapter Six: Hypothetically Speaking

_"Nice pink Ron." Harry commented, for the fourth time. He already had fun poking at Snape._

_"Shut up Harry."_

_"Pink looks nice on you. And peach looks fine on you Professor."_

_"Potter, if you say it one more time, I will give you a detention and you will serve it in your underwear in the girls lavatory."_

_"And you will be kicked off of the Quiditch team! Ginny has been looking at that seeker job again. I could just give it to her!" Ron said._

_Harry backed off. "All right, all right."_

_Emily told them it was time for bed. And Hermione defiantly knew not to sleep in the boy's room. Her face was bright red at all times, when she was in the presence of Ron. Same for Emily, but it was Snape, not…Ron._

-----

Evening of the fourth day.

"Okay, Padfoot, go with Fang. Hagrid, go with Frienze and search the forest again. Fred, George, Ginny, Bill, and Charlie, get on your brooms and circle Hogsmead. Arthur left already. He's at the Ministry with the Unspeakables. Percy go to the Restricted Section, look for any hideouts on Hogwarts grounds. Tonks? Why are you here?"

"Oh I needed to tell Charlie that Raven's eggs hatched. Two boys, three girls."

"Congratulations. Anyway, we need to go!"

Ginny, Fred, George, Bill, and Charlie hopped on their brooms, and were in the air before Remus finished his orders. Sirius changed into Padfoot/Snuffles, he and Fang were gone in a flash. You could hear their paws thumping on the ground, and McGonagall opened the Entrance Hall door for them to leave. Percy sped off towards the Library, his glasses askew. Hagrid and Firenze left, going as quickly as possible. Tonks, Remus, Molly, and Rosmerta all went to the kitchens for coffee.

Dumbledore watched as they spread out. He wished he wished them luck. He and McGonagall went around and issued orders to Ghosts, Portraits, Filch, and random Professor's if anyone odd, or any students were lurking the halls, they needed to take immediate action. They also kept Madame Promfrey informed, and if anyone needed medical attention, or if someone needed a special potion to take away stress.

-----

Snape was looking through the bags that he got the other day. He needed a potion Professor Canister sent him, from Florida. It had special tropical ingredients that were very hard to get in England.

"Professor! Is this checkmate?" Ron yelled.

Snape sighed and stood up. He walked out of the guy's room and into the kitchen. Ron and Hermione were having a very intense game of chess. It's been two hours.

Emily went into the guy's bedroom and noticed the items on the floor. But she didn't see the special potion, as she…knocked it over.

At first she didn't notice anything, until they burst into flame, and started to…smoke. She took out her wand, and took the fire out, but the items were ruined. All of Snape's items.

-----

Snape checked the chess game. "Granger, you lost."

Hermione crossed her arms. "I swear, you cheat somehow."

"No, I'm all natural." Ron said, laughing.

They shook hands, and decided to play another Muggle game. Harry came out of the bathroom. "Does anyone smell anything burning, like fire?"

They all sniffed the air, and Snape smelled the distinct smell of burning potion. "You three stay in here."

He hurriedly left the room, and went back to the guy's room. "What…are you doing?"

Emily turned around. "It kind of caught on fire."

Snape went to it, and sifted through what was left. Only the list and the other Professor's items were salvageable.

"What happened?"

"I knocked one over." Emily said.

"I needed these. They were important and from Florida!" Snape yelled.

-----

"What was from Florida?" Hermione asked.

They were standing in the kitchen doorway. Hermione was in front and Harry and Ron were standing behind her.

-----

"Well maybe you should put them in separate bags!" Emily yelled

"It doesn't matter! I was examining one! It's ruined now!" Snape yelled.

"Well…you know what?" Emily asked.

"What?" Snape asked angrily.

"They weren't important!" Emily said.

She stormed out of the room, Snape shouting after her, "I JUST TOLD YOU THEY WERE IMPORTANT!"

They both slammed the door at the same time, which caused a candle to blow out, and snow from the roof fall. That was bad. Now they had no light through the windows. It became very dark.

-----

"Err…I don't like this." Hermione whispered.

"Where are we going to sleep tonight?" Harry asked.

"Please not on the floor. Harry will pick a knife up and kill us!" Ron said. Harry glared at Ron, and was about to say something when Hermione interrupted.

"Well what about wandless magic?" Hermione asked.

"Oh, that might work." Ron said.

"What happened to our wands anyway?" Harry asked.

"Remember? We lost them during our batter fight." Hermione said.

"Oh."

Harry and Ron moved the table to the side, and then they swept the floor, and made sure it was clean. Hermione took a deep breath, and conjured up a queen size mattress top.

Harry has this thing. Everything has to match. He conjured up a matching set of pillows, sheets, and a blanket. Hermione and Ron made the bed, and then they jumped on it. "Yep, this is the bed." Ron said.

They stopped jumping and Hermione shrunk the bed. She put the mattress on the table, and Harry and Ron moved the table back.

"Alright, we play rock, paper, scissors to see if Emily and Snape are hungry." Hermione said.

Hermione was so happy when she got out. But, it became very intense for Ron and Harry. They were breathing slowly and heavily. At first, they both got rock. Then, they both got paper. Then, scissors. But, Harry slipped. He meant to put rock, but then he put…paper.

"Scissors cuts paper! I WIN! YOU GO HARRY!" Ron said, gleefully, punching the air.

"Please Ron! Please Ron. I beg you, please go do it!" Harry said.

Nope, Ron wasn't going to do it.

Harry glared at Ron, then Hermione. Then he set off on his adventure…to get…Snape and Emily. He went to Emily first. Saving the worst for last. Hermione and Ron started cooking while he was gone. They were having grilled cheese and tomato soup.

Harry slowly knocked on Emily's door. "Are you hungry?"

"I'M NOT HUNGRY HARRY!"

Harry quickly backed away from the door, like it was on fire. He went to Snape's door. He took several deep breaths. "Pro- Pro- Professor-"

"Leave me alone Potter."

Harry sighed, and ran to the kitchen. He was scared. Snape wasn't angry. He must have cut off his legs.

"Hermione! Hermione! He cut off his legs!" Harry cried.

All noise ceased. "Are you serious?"

"No! I'm Harry! Snape isn't angry. He must have cut off his legs, and we're the only ones eating." Harry said.

"Don't do that Harry." Hermione said.

Ron flipped a grilled cheese sandwich. "I made enough for two each, and Hermione is making conned soup."

"Canned soup Ron." Hermione corrected.

Ron shrugged his shoulders and continued making the sandwiches.

-----

Ginny got back when it started getting dark. Her brothers insisted she go back to Hogwarts. She didn't fight back, because she found it kind of sullen.

Remus asked her what she found, and she told him. "We found exactly nothing."

Remus sighed. "But my brothers told me to come back. I think they're circling around Hogsmeade and going a bit farther out.

"Let's just hope they bring back good news." Remus said.

Sirius and Fang came back. Sirius barked at Remus, then he, Fang, and Ginny went to the Gryffindor Common Room.

"Tonks, are you feeling all right?" Molly asked.

They were still in the kitchens. It was there _hideout._

"Oh, no not really. I'm worried about Charlie and my back hurts!" She said happily.

Remus cocked his head to the side, and stared at Tonks as she ate carrots. "Err…all right. You're happy about your back hurting."

"No, but these carrots are wonderfully delicious." Tonks said, eating more, and handing some to Molly and Rosmerta who munched on them.

-----

"It's bed time!" Harry said.

He plopped down on the bed. "Hermione, you can be in the middle, because you radiate heat. No footsie between you two, and no talking in your sleep. Oh, how can I forget? No snogging either. Goodnight!"

Harry took his glasses off and was asleep in a couple seconds. Ron and Hermione just stared at him. "Can't we kill him?" Ron asked.

"No, then we wouldn't be a trio anymore." Hermione said.

Awkwardly Hermione lay down in the middle, and Ron got on the other side of her. "Well…err…night Ron."

"Ahem…night…Mione."

"Goodnight People!" Harry said.

"Goodnight Harry." Ron and Hermione chorused together.

-----

Ron woke up, not tired anymore. It was about 3:30 in the morning. He awkwardly moved, because Hermione…was…sleeping on him. He made sure they were all asleep, and then he got up. He was glad the bed was away from the stove, as he made a pot of tea.

Snape was awake. He felt bad for yelling at Emily. It wasn't her fault. He left his stuff on the floor. It was just a natural reaction to yell at someone.

He stood up and realized, "Where are the children?" He asked himself. He opened the door, and saw the kitchen door open. It was open because a bed was in the way. He walked in there, and saw Ron sitting with just one candle, sipping tea.

Without further ado, he stepped over the bed, and walked towards Ron. "What are you doing Weasley?" He whispered.

"Drinking tea. Want some?" He asked.

Snape slowly grabbed a mug, and sat down at the table that was pushed against the wall. Ron poured him a cup.

"What happened between you and Emily?" Ron asked.

Snape stared at him over his cup. "None of you business Weasley." He took a long draught from it.

"Well…if you got in a fight, you should apologize to her first." Ron said, drinking his tea.

"Why do you think that?" Snape asked, his interest perked.

"Well…usually when me and Mione fight, it's my fault. So I usually apologize first. Not saying that you started it but…that's how it goes nowadays." Ron added the last part as an afterthought.

"What if, hypothetically speaking, it was my fault? How should I say it?" Snape asked.

"Err…well…apologize for yelling. That should grab her attention. Then, apologize for arguing with her. If she say's it was her fault, don't agree with her. Never agree with the lady who say's it's her fault."

"Okay." Snape said simply, remembering the information.

"Then, she will probably give you a hug. At least…that's what Mione does…over really bad rows though. So…since this is your first fight…hypothetically speaking, she may give you a hug. Whatever you do, never forget to return the hug."

"Why?"

"I don't know. If you don't hug her back, and you just…stand, it causes them to cry. Women tend to cry over…things like that. So…hug her back if she does it first."

"Okay…hypothetically speaking, she won't do anything else, am I correct?"

"If you were _dating _then she may kiss you. But you're not. Hypothetically speaking of course."

"Are you implyingwe should date? Hypothetically speaking?" Snape asked.

"Definitely you should give it a shot. I mean, you two are…like magnets…those fruit shaped ones that Muggles make. Hypothetically speaking."

"Hmm." Snape took another long draught from his mug.

After a few moments Snape started asking the questions. "What is going on between you and Granger?"

"Hypothetically Speaking, or for real?" Ron asked.

"For real."

"Nothing, nothing at all."

"You know Weasley, it has been obvious since your second year, that you and Granger were meant to be."

"It- it has?" Ron asked, drinking the rest of his tea, and getting more.

"Yeah, yeah it has."

Ron sighed. "I've liked her for a long time yeah, please don't tell her. Like on a test parchment saying, "You got this right, but Weasley likes you" or something. It'll kill me!" Ron said in despair.

"If you annoy me enough I will."

"Dear God. I'll have to leave Hogwarts."

Snape smirked. "Why don't you ask her? I mean, she likes you too."

"No. Never, I mean, we're friends, and the friendship is nice. I like it. If she didn't like me, then we probably wouldn't be friends anymore, and it would be terribly uncomfortable."

Snape stood up, and put away his cup. He squeezed Ron's shoulder. "Risk it." Then he left, stepping over the bed…again.

Ron took a deep breath. His mother didn't even know he liked Hermione that much.

BB/N: This chapter was so odd. I have never written anything like this one before. I never thought Snape would touch Ron. Ever.

MO/N: Lotsa dialog! Oh and Snape is a bit ooc in this chapter… and in his mind a little… OOC, for you ppl who don't know what it means, is Out Of Character!


	7. They were such nice people

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

BB/N: Snape touched Ron. Snape touched Ron. Snape touched Ron...

Chapter Six: "They were nice people"

_Ron sighed. "I've liked her for a long time yeah, please don't tell her. Like on test paper saying, "You got this right, but Weasley likes you" or something. It'll kill me!" Ron said in despair._

"_If you annoy me enough I will."_

"_Dear God. I'll have to leave Hogwarts."_

_Snape smirked. "Why don't you ask her? I mean, she likes you too."_

"_No. Never, I mean, we're friends, and the friendship is nice. I like it. If she didn't like me, then we probably wouldn't be friends anymore, and it would be terribly uncomfortable."_

_Snape stood up, and put away his cup. He squeezed Ron's shoulder. "Risk it." Then he left, stepping over the bed…again._

_Ron took a deep breath. His mother didn't even know he liked Hermione that much._

-----

"Harry, Ron, and Hermione were such nice people." Dean said, slowly.

"How can you say that? We don't even know if they're dead!" Pavarti said.

"How can you not say that? They were nice people. Except…you know…when you get on Harry's bad side and Ron just happens to be in the room…" Seamus said.

"Shut up Seamus. They _are_ nice people, not were. Stop using past tense." Lavender said.

"But, even Fudge said if we don't find them in two days, they'll be announced dead." Dean said.

"Fudge is an old coot." Lavender said.

"He doesn't know anything. He should be knocked out of office and thrown into Azkaban." Pavarti added.

"She has a point there." Dean muttered.

"Well, if we don't find them, hypothetically speaking, we must buy caskets, and burry them. Luna can play the organ…if she knows how." Seamus said.

Dean, Lavender, and Pavarti glared at Seamus.

-----

Ron laid down, closing his eyes tightly. He was so embarrassed that he could…die. He felt himself fall asleep.

Snape sat up, alone, on the floor, covered in blankets. His room smelled like oranges and limes. It was a nice smell, and Snape found it soothing.

But, he was hoping Ron forgot about the entire conversation by morning. He doubted it, but he hoped he did.

_In the morning…_

Harry and Hermione woke up at the same time…in an awkward position. There noses were barely an inch apart. Hermione was lying on Harry's arm, and her arm, was draped around his waist.

Hermione screamed, making Harry roll off the bed, and hit the table. Ron who was woken up by the scream, jumped, and hit his head against the doorframe, knocking him out.

Snape and Emily flew threw there doors, and ran into the kitchen. They saw Ron's bleeding figure, Hermione's quick breathing on the bed, and Harry on the floor, face down by the table.

"Dear…what happened?"

"I don't know." Hermione cried out.

Harry rubbed his chest again, as he started looking for his glasses. He sat on the bed, his back facing Hermione. Hermione calmed herself down, and realized Ron was unconscious. She rushed to his shallowly breathing form. "Ron, Ron, wake up. Wake up."

Ron didn't wake up. "I KILLED RON!" Harry shouted.

Snape stared at Ron a moment. By his right temple was a gash, and a bruise. That was where he hit his head on the doorframe, knocking him out.

"Snape! Fix him!" Hermione declared.

"I can't. I am not a trained Healer."

"You're not trained. Exactly, you're halfway there." Hermione said.

Harry picked Ron up, with wandless magic, and set him on the table. It was just big enough for his knees to his head tofit.

"I have a muggle American medical kit." Emily said.

"Go get it." Snape demanded. "Please."

Emily ran out of the kitchen and into her bathroom. She pulled out a white box with a blue lid out of the large medicine cabinet. She ran back into the kitchen and gave it to Snape, who in turn gave it to Harry, who in turn, gave it to Hermione.

"I can't do this. It's Ron!"

"Shut up Granger. Inside that box there should be a bottle of water. Take some large cotton balls, and dab around that cut, and clean around it."

Hermione quickly did as Snape said, and she realized Ron…was lucky to have a Professor to keep her in check.

"All right, in a black bottle _I think_, there should be peroxide. Can you hand that, and four large cotton balls to me?"

Hermione carefully did as she was told, and slowly, they cleaned Ron's face up, except a bruise that was on the side of his face.

"Wow, Ron got bloodied up…badly." Harry said, walking to them.

"Quiet Potter!" Hermione hissed. Harry backed away. Snape had the sudden thought that Hermione could be a Potions Master. But the thought disappeared just as fast as it came.

Now Snape hoped that Ron had his memory, but forgot about their bonding from the night before.

Ron slowly started to stir.

"I DIDN'T KILL YOU!" Harry exclaimed

"Why would you bloody do that in the first place…Oh Snape have you apolo--"

"Weasley, how do you feel?" Snape's hopes and dreams went down the drain.

Ron temporarily forgot his question, "My head hurts…Can someone get my mum? She could fix it…I want my mum…" He said trailing off.

"I think he's had some head trauma…" Emily suggested. Everyone agreed. Ron sat looking at the ceiling.

"Well…anyone up for breakfast?" Emily asked.

"I'm not hungry…" Ron said, still looking at the ceiling.

"I'm worried…Ron always is hungry…" Harry said.

"It was probably that tea." Snape said. Everyone stared at him.

"Err…tea? What tea?" Harry asked.

"Last night he was drinking tea." Snape said simply.

They left it at that, and set Ron on the bed, so they could eat.

"Hey! My head has blue things on it…it hurts…" Ron said.

"How does he know he has bruises on his face?" Hermione asked no one in particular.

"Cracks! In the ceiling!" Ron sang. Everyone concluded that Ron was just a little messed up right now, and needed some rest.

Emily, and Harry found some cereal, muggle cereal, Lucky Charms, Coco Puffs, and some Honey Nut Cheerios.

They loaded up on sugar. Well, except for Snape and Emily, they had some Cheerios. While Harry and Hermione were talking happily, a little too perky, at the other end of the table, Snape and Emily sat at the other end.

Snape looked up, but Emily turned away. Making a 'humph' sound. He set his spoon down.

"Emily," Snape started. Emily glared at him, a real bad, scary, glare. It was even worse then his. He couldn't even compete with it. "I'm…" 'What did Weasley say?' "Sorry for yelling at you." He looked up again, and she looked like she was going to cry.

"I'm so sorry!" She exclaimed, running over to give him a hug.

'What did Weasley say? No giving hugs? No, no, no! Hug back!' He thought, and he wrapped his arms around her. Patting her back awkwardly.

"It was my fault!" Emily cried.

"No! No it was my fault." Snape said reassuringly. Emily let go, and sniffled.

"I'm sorry… what is your first name?" She asked.

"Severus." Hermione called.

"Severus!" Emily finished. Snape glared at Hermione, who went back to talking to Harry.

"Great golly-wholly good job Snape! Thought you had it in you!" Ron called while rocking his feet, and giggling.

"I think he's delirious." Emily concluded. Snape agreed quickly.

-----

"So Professor, that's what Seamus plans to do…" Dean concluded. Dumbledore thought this funny, a little.

"So you plan to give them a memorial service… That would be nice… Although I hope we find them…" Dumbledore said. Dean nodded. He too hoped that Seamus's idea wouldn't be needed.

"Well, Professor… Is there anything I could do for you?" Dean asked.

"No… well… could you find some lemon drops for me? They take away stress…" Dumbledore asked. Dean saluted him.

"I'll be back!" Dean announced. Dumbledore smiled humbly at him. Dean was such a nice boy.

"The Weasley broom flyers are back!" McGonagall called from down the corridor. Dumbledore walked quickly to the entrance hall.

"Nothin' Pr-Pr-Profe-Professor!" Bill stuttered. The four of them were almost frozen.

"You didn't need to stay out all night…" McGonagall said.

"Where's Ginny? She's n-no-not out th-there is s-she?" Charlie asked.

"She's with Sirius and Fang in the Gryffindor common room." Dumbledore said. The four nodded, well… I guess you couldn't tell… They were already shaking. McGonagall sent them to the common room, and turned to Dumbledore.

"Percy is going over the Hogwarts blueprints with Madame Pince, and Mr. Filch." She said to him. Dumbledore rubbed his temples.

"PROFESSOR I FOUND THEM!"

BB/N: Snape touched Ron. Snape touched Ron. Snape touched Ron. Snape touched Ron. Snape…touched Ron

MO/N: Ignore her. Although it's quite funny. Have you noticed that it's always Ron who has these awkward moments with Snape?

BBMO/N: BOOYAKA! BOOYAKA!


	8. Wands and Presents

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

MO/N: It's so natural, It belongs to **YOU**, I belong to **ME**.

Chapter Eight: Wands and Presents

"The Weasley broom flyers are back!" McGonagall called from down the corridor. Dumbledore walked quickly to the entrance hall.

"_Nothin' Pr-Pr-Profe-Professor!" Bill stuttered. The four of them were almost frozen._

"_You didn't need to stay out all night…" McGonagall said._

"_Where's Ginny? She's n-no-not out th-there is s-she?" Charlie asked._

"_She's with Sirius and Fang in the Gryffindor common room." Dumbledore said. The four nodded, well… I guess you couldn't tell… They were already shaking. McGonagall sent them to the common room, and turned to Dumbledore._

"_Percy is going over the Hogwarts blueprints with Madame Pince, and Mr. Filch." She said to him. Dumbledore rubbed his temples._

"_PROFESSOR I FOUND THEM!"_

-----

"I found them! I found them!" Ron yelled.

He had been shouting this for five minutes. No one would check on him. Finally Harry came in.

"What did you find Ron?"

"Our wands!" He held up Emily's, Hermione's, his, and Harry's wands. "They were stuck underneath the table with batter!"

Harry stood there…stupefied…not the spell…but in general. "You did?"

"A huh. I did."

Harry concluded that Ron was still a bit messed up from the fall yesterday. Ron was lying underneath the table, staring at it.

"Ron, why don't you come out from under there?" Harry asked.

"Okay!"

He got off the floor and stood up. Hermione just walked into the room. "Where's my lover…There you are!" He ran to Hermione and gave her a hug. Harry was laughing uncontrollably behind Ron. Emily and Snape were watching from the doorway.

Hermione stood stock still, as he rocked her back and forth. He had a huge, enormous, smile on his face. "Err…Ron?"

"Yes Mione?"

After a second, Ron backed, his hands in the air in a stop type thing. "Whoa. Too close…too close."

It was awkwardly awkward as Hermione and Ron stared at each other. Harry, Emily, and Snape…Snape were laughing.

Ron's mouth was agape. "What did I say?"

"Err…too close?" Hermione said, blushing uncontrollably.

"No…before that." Ron said.

"Hahaha…hahaha…you said….hahaha, 'Where's my lover?' Then, 'There you are!' hahaha." Harry gasped out. He continued to laugh after he said it.

Ron took another step back. "No I didn't."

"Yes you did!" Emily, Snape, and Harry shouted.

"No!" Ron shouted back.

Hermione was just standing there. She never thought the redness would leave her face. "How about we…conjure…up presents! For tomorrow? Since…we can't get out!" Hermione said, clapping her hands once. She quickly snatched her wand out of Ron's grip, and ran away, slamming the bathroom door.

"Awkward." Snape commented.

"Shut up!" Ron said, glaring at Snape the best he could. He wasn't bad. Ron left, with his wand. He threw the rest of them on the floor. He went to the living room. He slammed the door, and at the same time, you could hear, "Silencio!" from the bathroom and the living room.

"We're cruel." Harry said, looking through the kitchen door, and into the hallway.

"Well…how about we conjure up presents? Severus, you can borrow my wand when I'm done." Emily said.

Harry walked past Snape, after getting his wand, and he went into the guy's room. Emily picked up her wand and went into her bedroom. Snape muttered, "I'll stay in the kitchen."

----

McGonagall turned, thinking he was shouting about the missing. "Professor Dumbledore! I found the Lemon Drops!"

"Why thank you Dean!" Dumbledore said, taking the bag. He offered Dean some, and Dean took a handful. It was a very large bag.

-----

"George! George, what is that?" Fred yelled.

George, Fred, and Bill were flying again. It was just to take a load off.

"I don't know! Let me land!" George yelled.

George landed in the snow, Bill and Fred right behind him. "Dear…Merlin. It's a wand."

----

"You called me from my shop for what?"

Dumbledore flooed Olivander from his shop in Diagon Alley. "We want you to identify a wand for us." Dumbledore said.

Olivander gently took the wand from Dumbledore's hand. He examined it closely. "Wow, I haven't seen this wand in 26 years."

"You know who's it is?"

"Are you doubting my capability of remembering? Of course I know who's it is. Even if it is as badly damaged as it is now. Severus Snape must be looking for this now. A wizard cannot live without his wand for long periods of time."

Dumbledore, and everyone else gasped. (McGonagall, Twins, Bill, Remus, Sirius, Molly, Rosmerta, Tonks.) "Would you be able to see what spell was used last?" Dumbledore asked.

"Of course! Someone hold the end of Severus's wand up."

"What end?" Tonks asked.

"Any end!" Olivander said.

Tonks picked up, what she hoped was the end of the wand. Olivander held the wand up and whispered, "_Prior Incantato_!"

A red jet of light erupted from the end of Snape's wand, and hit Sirius. He was stunned. Then in a misty type of writing, it said, "Stupefy".

"_Deletrius!_" Olivander whispered.

Sirius jumped into the air. "That, was freaky."

"Well, now you know the last spell." Olivander said, in his creepy, "I'm a Seer" voice.

-----

Everyone has finished doing there conjuring up for Christmas except…Snape. He was having trouble. He locked the kitchen door, and silenced the room.

Everyone else was searching for Newspaper to wrap presents, because Snape was getting impatient and wanted a wand.

**Snape's POV**

All right, all right. This isn't going to be hard…no it isn't. Who is first? Granger! I know the book for her. "Time after Time" A wonderful book. Very touching in the end, but nonetheless…very good. I'll just conjure that up…right now.

Okay, Granger is done. Who is next? Emily…All the females first…what shall I do? What does she want? Something special? Something…pretty? I hate that word. Pretty should be wiped off this planet. How about…I practice my…knitting skills. I haven't knitted since…ever. Maybe Mum knew I needed these skills…when I am almost forty…I'm old…

_Hours Later…_

My hands hurt. But it's done. It's actually a nice blanket. Blue and green. I like it. It has just the right amount of femininity and yet…it doesn't. Blue and green stripes going diagonal. I hope she likes it. It was hard to make…especially doing it half muggle ways and half…not.

Weasley. I truly don't know what to do. He doesn't pay attention in classes…getting something that will remind him of Granger would be funny…but this Christmas…he is horrible in classes…good in chess…Chess! He has a crappy chessboard. I've seen him play it many a time.

What type of board? Glass? No…He will break it…even though he could fix it with magic…I don't ever want to see it break. Metal? That's dangerous. I heard he had a temper. Silver…Gold…Silver and gold. Slytherin and Gryffindor's unite!

Never about that. Gold and silver chess pieces…with a gold and silver board.

Potter. What can I get him? I've hated him since day one. He almost fails my class…but…I shall make a book…"Quick and Humorous ways To Pass Potions" By Severus Snape. I can be humorous? I doubt it, but oh well…

**Out of Snape's POV**

-----

"Do you think Severus could have gotten into a fight? And lost his wand?" McGonagall asked.

"Protecting the younger ones?" Sirius asked.

"He tried to save their lives? And they're gone!" Fred and George exclaimed.

Molly hits her sons over the head. "They are not dead! When they are…they will be. And tomorrow is the last day…"

Molly started to cry. Everyone glared at Fred and George, until they were out of the room.

-----

Fred and George traveled around the castle. They were whispering until Percy stopped them. "Just the people I was looking for. I found 37 passage ways, and whatnot. We, as in me and Mr. Filch, need your help."

Fred and George exchanged wild glances. "37? We knew only of four."

"Well, learn some more. I made maps, and I need help checking them all and finding out where they lead." Percy said.

"May we see the map?" Fred asked.

Percy handed them a map. "I've charmed it so when you find one and cross it off, it'll do it to the rest of the maps."

George nodded his head. He took a quill from Percy and started crossing some off. "This one has caved in…. This one is in the Huneydukes Cellar…This leads nowhere…and this one is in the Shrieking Shack." George said, crossing some of the places off.

"All right…that narrows those down to 33. How come not the one that is in Huneydukes?"

"Because, Hermione is with them. They would have been back by now." Fred said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Oh." Percy said. "Okay then."

Fred and George set off in one direction, Percy in the other.

BB/N: Snape's POV…very interesting…I guess…and poor Ron…poor, poor, Ron.

MO/N: I love liked the way Hermione reacted, when she found out Ron was her lover.


	9. Christmas

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

BB/N: All right…

Chapter Nine: Christmas

_Fred and George traveled around the castle. They were whispering until Percy stopped them. "Just the people I was looking for. I found 37 passage ways, and whatnot. We, as in me and Mr. Filch, need your help."_

_Fred and George exchanged wild glances. "37? We knew only of four."_

"_Well, learn some more. I made maps, and I need help checking them all and finding out where they lead." Percy said._

"_May we see the map?" Fred asked._

_Percy handed them a map. "I've charmed it so when you find one and cross it off, it'll do it to the rest of the maps."_

_George nodded his head. He took a quill from Percy and started crossing some off. "This one has caved in….This one is in the Huneydukes Cellar…This leads nowhere…and this one is in the Shrieking Shack." George said, crossing some of the places off._

"_All right…that narrows those down to 33. How come not the one that is in Huneydukes?"_

"_Because, Hermione is with them. They would have been back by now." Fred said, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world._

"_Oh." Percy said. "Okay then."_

_Fred and George set off in one direction, Percy in the other._

-----

Emily, Ron, Harry, and Hermione were watching Snape sleep. "Who's going to wake him?" Hermione asked.

"Definitely not me! I had to get him when he was angry." Harry said stubbornly.

"I'm not." Ron said.

"Why?" They all asked.

"Because…I can't tell you." Ron said, nervously.

"The lot of you are wimps." Emily said. She bent over Snape and whispered in his ear, "Severus! Severus!"

**Snape's Dream**

"Draco! Why do you follow your father, in his exact footsteps?"

"What I and my father do is none of your business, Professor Snape." Draco replied.

"Then I can't let you play on the Quidditch team."

Draco's eye turned red, and he lifted his arms up, and a cape came out of nowhere, billowing in the wind. "You can't do that!" His voice six or seven octaves lower than normal.

Snape backed away, afraid. Then, Draco jumped onto the table, and had a very…seductive female voice. He whispered, "Severus!" His eye turned back to normal, and his hair was billowing in the wind, just like the cape had. "Severus!"

"Err…Draco?"

BB/N: Have you ever watched a movie or something…like…Liar Liar? You know when he's in the office and about to make out with the boss lady? Something like that…next

Draco leapt from the desk and onto Snape. Snape screamed, and covered his eyes.

**End of Snape's Dream**

Snape woke up, his hands over his eyes…and screaming. He stopped almost immediately afterwards. "Please leave me alone Dra," He moved his hands, "EMILY!"

"Err…you screamed a little. Are you alright?"

He pushed Emily away from his face. "I'm here…right?"

"Do you want me to punch you to make sure?"

"No, no, I'm quite fine. Did you find the presents?"

"No! You didn't put them under the tree. Now everyone go get the presents and put them in the living room." A hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"There was no tree." Ron said.

"Shh. No one knows that." Emily said fiercely.

Ron backed away, and then he ran away and got the presents. "Severus?" Emily whispered.

Snape stiffened. "Please don't do that. What do you need Emy?"

"Did you just forget those few letters?" Emily asked.

"Err…yes…now lets go."

"I didn't ask you my question." She said.

"What Emy?"

"Sevvy, why were screaming?"

"I'll tell you later."

Snape and Emily (Not Emy and Sevvy) walked into the living room. Snape was carrying his presents, and Emily already had hers in the living room. Snape laid his out in the middle of the floor, and Emily pulled her wand. "All right, on the count of three everyone 'Accio' their presents. One! Two! THREE!"

Everyone shouted, "Accio" And whatever was left on the floor was Snape's. He sat there, and said, "These are mine."

"Okay, just to see what everyone got, we will do this one at a time…starting with…..me!" He quickly sat down, and started opening his presents.

They made a semicircle around Ron, and watched open his presents.

Ron opened Emily's present first. It was a maroon T-shirt with pink lettering that said, "Be Yourself". Usually he got maroon from his mum and hated it. But now, he loved maroon, and couldn't wait to put it on. "I love it! I love it! Can I put it on right now?"

Before anyone answered, he put it on over his sweater. "Be yourself, I shall!"

After a moment, he opened his present from Harry. "Oh my god! Oh…dear…an Ultimate Cleaning Kit…for my broomstick! I love it! I'm going to tie it around my neck…when I find string."

Everyone started to laugh, except for Snape…who smiled. Eww…Snape smiling.

Next he opened Snape's present. "A…A gold and silver…chess…set…" He whispered. It looked like Ron was going to cry of joy. "I shall cherish this…like a baby…possibly a bit less than a baby…but…forever I will…cherish this…" He carefully set it down on paper, and stared at it for a moment. "I really like it Professor."

Next he opened Hermione's. "A hat! It's not a bladder. It's a hat! And it matches my shirt! How did you know? How did you know Mione? It has the Chuddley Cannons…on it. I love you…"

Awkward silence. "Hypothetically speaking…I mean I love as a friend…but…I'll stop now…" Ron said, trailing off.

"Who's next?" Emily asked.

Snape smirked. After Ron collected his stuff, and moved from the center of the circle, he pushed into it. "Granger, your turn." He wanted to see what Ron got her. He was nosy.

"Oh…all right. I'll open…Harry's first." She sifted through her presents and found Harry's. It was a book…wrapped in newspaper. "Ohh! 'Time and Again' by Danielle Adams. Oh…it's the sequel. I haven't read the first one."

"Oh really? I thought you read it." Harry said.

"No. I haven't." Hermione said, setting the book aside. "I'll find it! I swear Harry James Potter, I will find it."

She opened Emily's present next. "Ohh! 'Time After Time Again' Book three of the trilogy. How depressing. And this is a muggle series. How will I find it at Hogwarts? I can't let it dust over…I'll find it Emily Whatever you Middle name is Rosmerta!"

"Err…alright." Emily said. Christmas was depressing for Hermione.

She opened Snape's present. "Ahh! Look! Look it! It's ' Time After Time' The prequel to the others! Yes! I'll start reading it right away…except…not right now."

Snape felt lucky, but he wasn't sure if she just picked up his present, or was she waiting to save Ron for last. He was truly wondering why he cared about his students love lives…

Hermione picked up a small rectangular box. On it, it said, "To: Ron, From: Hermione" But then…it was scribbled out, and it said, "To: Hermione, From: Ron" She opened it, and saw a gold locket. On the front it said, "Risk It".

Hermione started to cry. "Oh…Ron…it's…beautiful. I love it. But what does 'Risk It' mean?"

Snape glared at Ron, who was sitting across from him. "Err…someone…told me a story…and that person told me to risk something…important…so…it means…risk your heart. But not to die or…anything…Just risk…err…love."

"Ohh…it must have been someone special." Hermione said.

Ron and Snape exchanged glances. "Sure…it was someone special."

Hermione found a card underneath the locket. "Put a picture inside your heart…and it will come true. Hopefully!"

Hermione smiled, and put the locket on. Then she moved out of the circle, and Harry jumped into her place. Snape was highly interested about what he got, because no one in his life, that he loved dearly other than Ron and Hermione friend type love was there. As in…Ginny wasn't there.

"My turn! My turn!" Harry said, gleefully.

He opened the first present, which was from Hermione. "Wow! It's Hedwig on a hat! It's wicked awesome Hermione. It doesn't look like a wooly- I mean…it's a very nice hat." It was a red hat with out lines of Hedwig on it.

He opened Ron's present next. "Ron! You are a genius. I'll survive at the Dursley's until I move out! Or die of cardiac arrest." It was a very large basket of goodies that refilled whenever it was empty, lasting for three years. Then the basket became a decorative item.

He opened Emily's present next. "Quidditch!" Was all he said. It was a book called, 'EVERYTHING about QUIDDITCH' by Georgian Hemmingwee. "I love it…ever so much. I love it really. A lot."

He carefully put the book aside and opened the last present. Ron and Hermione were a bit apprehensive since Snape hated Harry since July 31, 1980.

Harry looked at the cover and began to laugh. "This sounds highly interesting Professor. I shall read it immediately." It was, 'Quick and humorous ways to Pass Potions' By Severus Snape.

"Emily's next!" Hermione and Ron shouted at the same time.

"Err…me? Are you sure? I mean…you're so eager…I mean…there could be dungbombs." Emily commented.

"Don't worry. He'll still love you if you smell." Hermione said.

Snape glared at Hermione. Emily apparently didn't get it. "Who?"

"No one! No one! Open mine first!" Harry said, shoving his present into Emily's arms.

Emily slowly unwrapped her large present. At first, she stared at it. Then she screamed. "OH MY MERLIN'S ON FIRE! THIS IS AWSOME! AND BACKSTREET BOYS! I LOVE THEM! AND IT RUNS ON MAGIC! I LOVE YOU HARRY POTTER!"

She set it down, and pulled out Ron's small package. She opened it, and nearly threw it. "DEAR MERLIN! CELION DION! I LOVE HER! I LOVE YOU!"

"It's in French though. Couldn't find any English ones." Ron said.

"I speak more than fluent French! I can listen to this…all day long…and speak it!" Emily said.

BB/N: Emily started speaking fluent French. But I don't have enough time to go to a website and find French words. So…Think of French!

It seemed like everyone stopped breathing, because Emily picked up Snape's present. It was bulky and light, and soft.

For some reason, Emily opened Snape's present slowly. Ever so slowly. So slowly that—

-----

At Hogwarts Ginny was—

-----

BB/N: Just kidding

So slowly that it took forever.

"Open already!" Hermione said.

"Oh all right." Emily said. She ripped the wrapping paper off, because Snape his time an got wrapping paper, and stared at what was in her hands.

"Sevvy!" She whispered.

"Sevvy?" Harry mouthed to Ron. Ron shrugged his shoulders.

"The blanket is beautiful!"

"Err…Thank you Emy. I made it myself."

"Emy?" Ron mouthed to Harry. Harry shrugged.

"You made it? For me? Thank you."

After six long excruciating seconds Emily ran to her bedroom, changed her sheets, then put the blanket on it. She made her bed.

Then she came back. "It's your turn Sevvy."

Everyone was anxious to see how Snape was going to react. He opened Hermione's present first. It was a plain black hat with silver and green on it. He looked at it a moment, then he thought of the time he saw a houself wearing a bladder looking thing on it's head. She has improved a lot.

"Thank you Gra- Hermione."

"You don't have to wear it out in public if you don't want to." She said quickly.

Snape didn't say anything. He set it aside, and opened the next present. It was from Harry.

"What is this?" He asked, turning the thing over. It was a book, almost exactly like his except it was black with gold lettering. It was called, "How to Stand Your Students" By Harry Potter.

"Thank you Po-"

"You don't have to say my name."

"Potter."

Harry gave a quick nod, then it was awkwardly silent. No one was sure if Harry and Snape would ever get comfortable with each other.

"Ahem. I'll open this one."

He grabbed a cylinder with a hump type shape. He opened it, and was surprised to see it. It was a silver mug. On it was a dark green gothic care bear. It had spiked…fur…and black wristbands with sharp spikes.

"Thank You…Ron." He said, after taking a quick breath.

Emily jumped in the air, and was out the door and they heard her yelling, "I'll get your present. It's downhe—" As her voice drifted away.

Ron snickered. "She's getting you knickers/

While Harry and Hermione held in there snickering, Snape glared at Ron. "I can take my present back."

To his surprise Ron answered back. "No you won't!"

Emily walked back, before Snape could reply. He kept in mind the conversation that he and Ron had about Hermione. That would come in handy.

Emily had a box. It was rather…medium sized, just big enough for a muggle toaster. It was actually a muggle toaster box. "You got me a toaster?" He asked.

"It's inside Sevvy."

Hermione looked at Ron. "She got him knickers."

They giggled silently…almost. Snape took the box and was about to shake it. But Emily stopped him. "Don't! Don't shake it! It's…fragile!"

Snape gently set it in his lap, and opened the top. His eyes grew wide, as he stared down at the box. Everyone surrounded him. "You did get him knickers." Ron said.

Emily gave him a weird look, then turned back to Snape.

He reached inside with both hands, and pulled out a small female calico kitten. She mewed, and everyone went awe, except Snape, who was surprised. He never had a cat before. But he had to admit it was cute.

"Do you like her? Do you? Do you? Do you?" Emily asked continuously until he answered. He nodded his head.

"Everyone! He likes her!" Emily exclaimed.

Harry, Ron, and Hermione clapped and cheered.

"So that was what it was when I was in the store by myself." Snape muttered. He held the kitten in the air, and stared at it in the eye. It reached out and tapped his nose. He had to smile. He felt his heart warm up, and he thought he was either really happy…or he was having a heart attack. They were common in men his age.

"What are you going to name her?" Hermione asked.

"Neko."

"Your naming her…cat?" Emily asked.

"Fine! You know what I will name her such a nice name…you'll be shocked."

Everyone leaned in, afraid he'll name her "Little Whore" or "Little Satan" or, "Lucifer!"

"Penny." Snape replied.

BB/N: Wow! I was shocked…and I typed this.

MO/N: She's just a cute little kitty.


	10. Christmas Prt Two

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

MO/N: I love all who review!

Chapter Ten: Christmas Prt. Two

"_Do you like her? Do you? Do you? Do you?" Emily asked continuously until he answered. He nodded his head._

"_Everyone! He likes her!" Emily exclaimed._

_Harry, Ron, and Hermione clapped and cheered._

"_So that was what it was when I was in the store by myself." Snape muttered. He held the kitten in the air, and stared at it in the eye. It reached out and tapped his nose. He had to smile. He felt his heart warm up, and he thought he was either really happy…or he was having a heart attack. They were common in men his age._

"_What are you going to name her?" Hermione asked._

"_Neko."_

"_You're naming her…cat?" Emily asked._

"_Fine! You know what I will name her such a nice name…you'll be shocked."_

_Everyone leaned in, afraid he'll name her "Little Whore" or "Little Satan" or, "Lucifer!" _

"_Penny." Snape replied._

-----

Ginny was curled in the fetal position, clutching Harry's Weasley sweater. She was crying unashamedly, and she didn't care. People tried to cheer her up, but nothing worked.

"Ginny, how about you go to the kitchens?" Fred asked.

Ginny sat up, glaring through her tears at Fred. "How can you speak to me like that? Is your boyfriend dead? He's dead." She started to sob again. "Plus, I'm not hungry! Are you calling me fat?"

Fred stepped away from Ginny, and went to his mother, who was also crying. He was wondering if Ginny even cared about Ron. He was soon to find out.

Ginny wailed. "Ron! He's dead too! I had a row with him! And I said…I…hated him! I don't! Ron! I don't hate you! And Hermione. She loved Ron!"

"Why is everyone speaking in past tense? They are not dead yet! Not until tomorrow! They are going to live until they are 982! 982 years old! UNDERSTAND!" George cried.

"Good going George. Cheer them up! While everyone else is dead, they will live." Fred said sarcastically.

Everyone was in the Gryffindor Common Room. Then suddenly they heard a slight tapping on the window. Everyone turned to see what it was. Ginny jumped from the couch and to the window. "It's HEDWIG!"

Everyone gasped, and watched Ginny open the window, and allow Hedwig in. She flew inside and landed on the fireplace mantle. Ginny ran to her and Hedwig held out her leg. Ginny untied a little parcel, addressed to her.

She opened it, and there was a beautiful…promise ring. Under it was a note. It said:

_To my Dearest Ginerva Weasley,_

_If I don't live to see your face on Christmas, I give you all my love and a ring. I doubt I'll ever see you again, because of certain reasons. Hedwig found me, Harry Potter, and insisted I send this. I have sent it, and have a beautiful life without me, don't marry Dean. Or Michael. Just wait for me, even if it's in the afterlife. You'll be able to meet my parents. Ron and Hermione are with me, and they said hello too. I must go. Snape is coming and he's in bad shape. It looked like he was helping or carrying a woman. Not sure…I have to go now…bye…_

_Love until Death do us part,_

_Harry James Potter_

_P.S.—_

Ginny didn't read the rest of the letter. She put the ring on, and then threw the letter into the fire. George hurriedly grabbed the letter and put it out.

"Ginny! Ginny! What's wrong?" Mrs. Weasley asked.

"Harry! He was alive when he sent this. He said he wouldn't be able to see me again! And Hermione and Snape and Ron are with them…him…in there bad formed shapes." Ginny cried, running up the girl's dormitory.

George looked at the letter. "She had a reason to be angry…sad…depressed…humiliated…cursed…--"

"Shut up George! What does it say?"

"It said everything. Snape is in bad shape and he wants her to live happily…and not to marry anyone else…He loved her. There was a P.S. but it was burned. He talked about his parents…and Ron and Hermione…Mum! Mum!" George said, tears coming to his eyes. "They're dead!"

And at this moment, it finally set it. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Ronald Weasley, Severus Snape, and for Madame Rosmerta, Emily Rosmerta were dead.

-----

"I don't know if I should have sent Ginny that parcel. We wrote it during potions…and I was kidding…Oh Merlin…I hope she doesn't take it the wrong way." Harry said, while peeling potatoes. Everyone was chipping in to make the big Christmas dinner.

"Look out the window. Even though you can't see through it, it's snowing. I can tell." Emily said.

Hermione and Ron were doing quick and dangerous cooking. Which meant, they caught things on fire with "Incendio!" then they quickly put them out. But everything else was done the Muggle way, including the pies, which they started hours before hand.

"It might be a bit chilly tonight." Hermione said.

They couldn't tell, at least Ron and Hermione because they were doing the quick and dangerous cooking. It was really hot in that corner.

MO/N: That didn't quite sound right…

BB/N: It's hot and steamy…

MO/N: Stop trying to be seductive.

BB/N: I'm not! I am trying to improvise.

-----

They got done eating dinner around six, and were now just sitting around the kitchen drinking tea and eating a slice of apple pie each. Emily suddenly realized one thing. Her Muggle heating device that she never learned how to work…wasn't on.

"You were right Hermione," Ron began. "It's getting chilly." He started to rub his arms, really wishing he brought a sweater.

Emily clapped her hands together. "Cuddle time!"

"Err." Was all that came out of Ron's mouth. Cuddling was not his favorite word…especially around Hermione…

"Yes cuddle. You know, sit close?" Emily said.

"Err…no…" Snape said, the only one still sitting. Everyone else was standing up. Penny jumped onto the seat next to Snape. She couldn't make it up, and was falling, so Snape picked her up, and put her on the seat. He found her slightly annoying. She followed him everywhere.

Ron glared at Snape. He was getting better and better at the glare. "Professor Snape! You are going to cuddle with Emily! And you're going to like it! Or…I'll tell your secret."

Snape stood up. Him and Ron were almost the same exact height. There was a pause, as they glared at each other, Ron slowly thinking if he didn't stop…Snape would make him pee his pants. He was very afraid.

"Fine Weasley! (He gave up calling him Ron) Besides, it's getting cold."

They all began to walk, and Penny jumped to the floor, and followed Snape. "Penny, leave me alone."

Snape didn't see the hurt look that crossed the little kittens face. She put her head down, but followed him nonetheless.

While they were walking down the hallway, Snape looked behind himself. He angrily spun around and stared at the kitten. Penny bumped into his leg, and stepped back. She sat down and stared at Snape, her eyes big, shiny, and round. "Mew!"

Snape's insides melted as she mewed. He picked her up, and started petting her gently. She started to make a weird type of clicking noise. She couldn't purr yet.

Snape stepped into the guy's room. Hermione, Ron, and Harry were already cuddled up, and Snape missed the awkward moment between Ron and Hermione. They all looked at Snape, then pointed to Emily. He slowly looked at her, and she smiled and waived. She indicated her new blanket.

Snape spread his index fingers on each hand three feet apart, while Penny hopped onto his shoulder. "Can we be this far apart?"

"You know Professor, woman, according to men, don't have enough body heat." Harry said.

"That is why, were sitting on either side of Mione. Really snug!" Ron added. He had a wicked smile on his face, and he was nodding his head slowly, in a creepy type manner.

MO/N: You know in the 6th chapter Hermione slept in the middle because she gave off heat…now…she doesn't give off enough, and can barely keep her body warm…

Snape sighed, and walked over to Emily, sliding down the wall, and sitting as humanly possible, next to her. Penny was now purring nonstop like a motor. She lay down on Snape's chest, and purred. She gave off more heat.

"Penny's mine." Snape growled.

"All right, all right." Emily said. She turned to Harry and Ron. "I'm not a regular woman you know. I can live by my self."

"Haven't you been?" Snape asked. Emily shoved him playfully.

Hermione whispered something into both Ron and Harry's ears. Then she jumped into the air. "I have to go to the loo!"

"We have to help her!" Harry and Ron chorused together. The three of them quickly left the guy's room, and went into the bathroom. Emily and Snape watched them.

"Err…she needs help?"

-----

"They really need some alone time."

Ron was lying in the bathtub, Harry was on the counter by the sink, and Hermione put the toilet seat down, then she sat on the toilet.

"Well…I guess they did." Harry said.

"If they really did need alone time, how come they didn't talk in front of us Hermione?" Ron asked.

Harry and Hermione looked at him. "That positively made no sense Ron."

"I never make sense do I, Hermione."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Whatever."

It became quiet, and Harry decided to break it. "Do you remember the Quidditch World Cup? Wasn't it exciting?"

Hermione nodded her head, but Ron was thinking of something else. "Do you remember that man?" He asked.

Both Hermione and Harry shook their heads. "That narrowed it down greatly Ron." Harry teased.

"The man in the dress!" Ron said.

"Ohh! Archie." Harry said.

Hermione started to giggle.

"Something wrong Hermione? Is there something wrong with a man who likes a breeze around his privates?" Ron asked. He was serious. She started to giggle.

"You liked him, didn't you?" As she continued, Ron went on. "You like old…no…old_er_ men. That is disgusting Mione."

"I do not Ronald Weasley! I like Ro- someone you don't need to know about." Hermione said.

"Whatever Hermione. Archie, Archie, Archie, Archie!"

Hermione stood up, and stormed out of the bathroom. Ron jumped out of the bathtub and followed Hermione. Harry just watched them, and wondered if it was his fault that they had this row.

-----

"So what do you want to talk about, Sevvy?"

"Err…nothing…embarrassing."

Emily smirked. "Who do you like?"

Snape looked at her, a cross look on his features. "I am not a school girl Emily. I don't talk about that stuff."

"Is it someone in this room?"

"If you're talking about Penny, yeah." Snape said, petting his kitten for emphasis.

Emily's face got closer to Snape's. He couldn't move because he was in a corner. Damn those walls. "I meant, do you _love _a person in this room?"

Snape spoke just as quietly as her. "Do you?"

Just as Emily was about to answer, Hermione and Ron stormed into the room. "IF YOU COME NEAR ME RONALD I WILL KILL YOU!"

Ron stepped closer. "I'm closer Hermione."

"I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IF YOU TOUCH ME!"

"YOU'RE GOING TO PUNCH A DEAD PERSON?" Ron asked, loudly.

Ron slowly poked her on the shoulder. She turned around and punched him in the stomach. Ron wasn't expecting that, and he flew backwards and hit the wall, the wind getting knocked out of him. He slid down the wall.

Hermione stared at her fist. When she punched Malfoy, it was an awesome feeling. When she punched Ron…she felt her heart break in two. Tears were welling up in her eyes. "Ro-Ron!"

She kneeled down in front of him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" She cried, feeling horrible.

Emily, Snape, and Harry watched Hermione as she hugged Ron and checked his stomach. They could almost see Ron's ears glow in the dark.

"I'm all right Hermione. I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting it." Ron said.

"But I punched you Ron! How could you say it was okay? I'm suffering great painful…something's."

Emily interrupted Hermione's tirade. "Err…I think we should all go to bed."

BB/N: All right! It took a long time to write this! And it was only a few pages. Six to be exact. Anyway, what is everyone's favorite part? I liked the whole scene with Snape and Emily while the children were gone. Also with Ron and Hermione's mini row. Christmas was also weird. Especially Harry's letter. It almost explained exactly what Ginny feared. While typing I found it humorous.

MO/N: No one can ever reject the kitten, savvy?

P.S. The P.S. to Harry's letter to Ginny was, "_P.S. Just kidding love."_


	11. Bleak Wilderness

**Shopping **

**Summary**: _The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?_

BB/N: Sad chappie, the one before this one…

Chapter Eleven: Bleak Wilderness

"_I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IF YOU TOUCH ME!"_

"_YOU'RE GOING TO PUNCH A DEAD PERSON?" Ron asked, loudly._

_Ron slowly poked her on the shoulder. She turned around and punched him in the stomach. Ron wasn't expecting that, and he flew backwards and it the wall, the wind getting knocked out of him. He slid down the wall._

_Hermione stared at her fist. When she punched Malfoy, it was an awesome feeling. When she punched Ron…she felt her heart break in two. Tears were welling up in her eyes. "Ro-Ron!"_

_She kneeled down in front of him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!" She cried, feeling horrible._

_Emily, Snape, and Harry watched Hermione as she hugged Ron and checked his stomach. They could almost see Ron's ears glow in the dark. _

"_I'm all right Hermione. I'm fine. I just wasn't expecting it." Ron said._

"_But I punched you Ron! How could you say it was okay? I'm suffering great painful…something's'."_

_Emily interrupted Hermione's tirade. "Err…I think we should all go to bed."_

-----

"Lets have a go with the snow…hey…I rhyme!" Ron exclamied.

All five of them went downstairs into the store. They looked out the door. Emily opened the door, really easily. "Err…was that supposed to happen?" She asked no one in particular. Almost at once, Harry, Ron, and Hermione touched the snow.

"What's that sound?" Snape asked.

Emily's eyes widened. "Avalanche!"

They stepped away from the door, as the rumbling got louder. The snow caved in, and there was a slight pathway, except it was really icy and wet. Snow also came into Emily's store. Everyone was in awe. It was still snowing really hard.

"I think we should wait…" Snape said.

Ron ran out into the snow. "If I wait any longer, the snow will build up again, and we'll be trapped…again!"

"He has a point, but he really does need to get inside. I mean… he doesn't have a cloak on." Emily stated.

"I'll go get our cloaks!" Hermione said, making her way to a closet in Emily's room.

"I'll go get Penny. She could do something…_bad_ when were not around." Harry said, while following Hermione up the steps.

Emily and Snape watched as Ron came back into the store. "It's cold out there."

"Of course! Hermione is getting our cloaks…maybe she'll put on socks too." Emily said.

"I heard that! And yes, I have on neon green socks." Hermione said, coming down the steps with an armload of cloaks and Harry with Penny.

They put on their cloaks, and Hermione handed Snape a sock. Snape put Penny inside the sock, and then he gently put her inside his cloak.

"Ron, get your cloak on." Hermione instructed. Ron put his cloak on, and buttoned it up. They, as in Harry, Ron, Hermione, Snape, and Emily, took one last look at the shop before stepping out into the bleak wilderness. (AKA Back to Hogwarts)

-----

"Dean a little to the left…a bit more…there you go. Perfect." Lavender said.

Dean climbed off of the Muggle ladder and back onto the ground. It was a banner of Harry, Ron, Hermione, Snape, and Emily. Madame Rosmerta gave Dean a description of Emily.

"Nice drawing of Ron, Dean." Pavarti whispered.

"Of everyone…" Padma said.

They stood in front of the Entrance Hall a few more moments, before going into the Great Hall, where the funeral was supposed to be held. Already, people who didn't go to Hogwarts, started to flood into the Great Hall. The Ministry of Magic officials, everyone. It was in the Daily Prophet that the Funeral was going to be held at Hogwarts at 7:00p.m. It was only 6:45p.m.

Luna was softly playing Christmas music on her organ…that Dumbledore conjured up. Surprisingly she took organ lessons five years before coming to Hogwarts, and during breaks. Everyone was wearing black. Even Dumbledore, which was kind of odd.

"Everyone settle down…we're starting a bit early." Dumbledore announced.

-----

"POINT ME!" Hermione shouted.

They had lost their way, because the snow got so bad.

"It's BLOODY COLD OUT HERE!" Ron shouted.

"KEEP UP GRANGER!" Snape yelled

"MERLIN! WHERE'S HERMIONE!" Harry yelled.

They all stopped moving. They looked around, and all they saw was white.

"I thought she was pointing." Emily said.

Without a slight bit of hesitation, Ron turned around and went back. He could see haphazard footprints. "I'll find her! Stay here, so I can see where you are!"

"Mew! MEW!"

Snape patted his breast pocket that was inside his cloak. "There, there Penny." He whispered. He knew she had to be cold.

Ron looked around wildly. He knew they had just climbed up the icy hill, and he was afraid that she may have fallen. "HERMIONE! MIONE!"

"Over, ova-over he-here Ro-Ron-n" He heard someone haphazardly shout. He looked to his right, and saw wet…bushy hair. He sprinted to it, nearly sliding down the hill in the process.

"Mione! Mione! Get up! You're not dead!" Ron cried out. He had to slightly unbury her. She clung onto him as he pulled her up.

They slowly climbed back up to where Snape and everyone else were. "Do you have her? Is she okay?" Harry immediately asked when he saw the silhouetted form of Ron coming nearer.

"I'm fine, so is she." Ron said. He had Hermione tightly in his arms. He was carrying her.

"What's wrong with Granger?" Snape asked, actually concerned.

"She messed up her ankle leg thingy and she's cold." Ron stated.

"Well lets get going. The quicker we get there, the quicker we can get her to the hospital wing." Snape said.

"My chest is hurting again." Harry murmured.

-----

"What…were dead." Harry said in awe. They were looking at the beautifully drawn banner that was in the Entrance Hall.

"I bet Dean drew that." Hermione said.

'My nose isn't that big…' Snape thought. He pulled out Penny. She was shivering badly.

"Shh! I think I hear something…" Emily said.

All talking stopped, as they listened to Luna play the organ, but of course they didn't know it was she. They all walked towards the Great Hall doors. They were propped open.

"It's an organ…it's probably our funeral…" Ron said.

"And I never got to apologize to my younger brother, Ron. I am sorry for being the biggest git in the world for the past…ever. I am truly sorry."

Percy stepped away from the podium, tears in his eyes. A large black dog and Remus Lupin stepped towards the podium.

"This is for the five missing persons. Hermione Granger was the smartest witch of her time. If you asked her any question, she would be able to answer it right off the bat. No problems. Ronald Weasley--" There was a loud wail from Mrs. Weasley. "Ronald Weasley was the best chess player. He was a gentle man, having been taught by his parents. You could put your life in his hands, and know that you…wouldn't die. Severus Snape. He was an odd fellow. He may not have been the nicest man in the world, but if you were to get sick, he would do anything to make you better, if Madame Promfry didn't have anything. Harry Potter. The boy who lived. I remember his first words were puppy-- there, there Padfoot.-- I remember his first words were puppy, and he was talking to Sirius and me. Months after that his parents were murdered by Lord Voldemort. Now, he was murdered by Voldemort."

"Hahaha you were murdered Harry!" Ron shouted turning to him, witha grin on his face.

Luna slammed her hands onto the organ. You know that sound…DUNNNNN

Everyone turned angrily and looked at Malfoy. "It wasn't me this time…honestly."

"RONALD WEASLEY!"

Everyone turned to the running Mrs. Weasley. She was running towards her son.

"IT'S HARRY! IT'S HARRY!" Ginny jumped from her chair, and ran towards Harry.

Mrs. Weasley was crushing Hermione and Ron. If you remembered correctly, Ron was carrying Hermione. So yeah…

Ginny jumped upon Harry, making him fall backwards. She jabbed him in the chest. "WHAT WAS THAT BLOODY LETTER FOR?" She shouted.

Harry was on the verge of tears. He could barely breath, and he saw stars. He thenpassed out.

"OH NO I KILLED HARRY!" Ginny cried.

Sirius changed behind the podium, and then he and Remus ran towards Harry. Rosmerta was crying as she ran to her sister. "Emily! I was so worried, and then you were dead!"

Professor McGonagall went to Snape, who was left alone, holding his kitten. "Your protected them Severus! You are such a nice man!" McGonagall cried.

"Don't hug me. I have a sick Penny."

McGonagall looked at the kitten. "Aww…Hagrid can take care of her."

Madame Promfrey marched into the Great Hall that had a lot of avidly talking people in it. "HOSPITAL WING! WEASLEY, GRANGER, POTTER, SEVERUS, AND…YOU!" She shouted, pointing to Emily.

Everyone stopped talking, as Harry, who was on amagical stretcher, Hermione, who was being carried by Ron, Ron, Snape, and Emily were all taken out of the Great Hall. McGonagall had Penny. She handed her to Hagrid, who was blowing his nose on a tablecloth-sized handkerchief. "Take care of her, will you?" She asked.

Penny was about the size of his palm. "I'll do me best Minerva."

"Well! Now that we're all cheered up, let's eat!" Dumbledore announced, clapping his hands together.

-----

Everyone got separate beds. Madame Promfrey gave them all a Pepper Up Potion. Harry and Hermione both had to take more potions than Ron, Emily, and Snape, because they're other injuries. "Potter, that bruise is going to be there for a long time. I suggest you don't talk. Granger, your ankle should be healed tomorrow, but you still need rest." Madame Promfrey stared sternly at them all before going to her office. As soon as she was in there, Dumbledore, Fred, George, Mrs. Weasley, Lupin, Fudge, Sirius, and McGonagall entered the room. Along with some Ministry reporters, and other various repoters.

"I'm not following Poppy's rules, but we need your story." Dumbledore said.

"Then we might as well get into a line." Snape said.

Emily hopped up and pulled Snape's bed out. "I get to sit on your bed."

There was a slight blush on Snape's face, but no one noticed. No one ever noticed Snape's embarrassment. Ron got out of bed and pushed Hermione's bed next to Snape's. "I get to sit by Mione!" Ron said, sitting next to her.

"What?"

"I'm sitting next to Mione." Ron said again.

"Oh!" Everyone chorused. They thought he said, "My Mione."

"I- I can't move." Harry whispered.

Sirius happily went behind Harry's bed and turned it around. Then he pushed it, with a hearty shove. Harry nearly screamed as he was rolled into the line. He stopped exactly next to Ron and Hermione. Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed and slapped his shoulder. Harry winced in pain. "That was fun Harry, wasn't it?"

Harry shook his head.

"Anyway," Dumbledore began. "We need your story, from start to finish."

"It went like this…" Hermione began.

BB/N: This is the end of chapter…only 5 pages…Naomi wanted to stop…

MO/N: So what if I wanted to stop? Anyway I have a new Harry Potter story called, "White Rabbits Kill". Please read it!


	12. What Fred and George Weasley Did

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

MO/N: This is THE chapter…

Chapter Twelve: What Fred and George Weasley did

"_I'm not following Poppy's rules, but we need your story." Dumbledore said._

"_Then we might as well get into a line." Snape said. _

_Emily hopped up and pulled Snape's bed out. "I get to sit on your bed."_

_There was a slight blush on Snape's face, but no one noticed. No one ever noticed Snape's embarrassment. Ron got out of bed and pushed Hermione's bed next to Snape's. "I get to sit with by Mione!" Ron said, sitting next to her._

"_What?" _

"_I'm sitting next to Mione." Ron said again._

"_Oh!" Everyone chorused. They thought he said, "My Mione."_

"_I- I can't move." Harry whispered._

_Sirius happily went behind Harry's bed and turned it around. Then he pushed it, with a hearty shove. Harry nearly screamed as he was rolled into the line. He stopped exactly next to Ron and Hermione. Sirius sat down on the edge of the bed and slapped his shoulder. Harry winced in pain. "That was fun Harry, wasn't it?"_

_Harry shook his head._

"_Anyway," Dumbledore began. "We need your story, from start to finish."_

"_It went like this…" Hermione began._

-----

"Then Snape said no!" Ron said, too happily. Madame Promfrey had to give him more medicine when they told her about his slight accident that he had with the wall. It actually was a really bad cut, and she had to re-open it and clean it out thoroughly.

After the slight intermission, of Ron shrieking, they continued on.

They told them about day three. How Hermione just had to have the pancake batter. That was how they had their batter fights. They had a silent agreement about the pajama's and the peachiness. They also lost their wands.

All the teachers gasped when they heard that they lost their wands on the third day.

They told them about the fourth day, when Snape and Emily fought. Ron was able to sober up and look at Snape. Snape looked back. Snape gave Ron the 'I swear to Merlin' look. Ron didn't say anything about the heart to heart. Snape didn't either.

On the fifth day on how Emily and Snape made up. Ron busted open his head, and…that's about it.

None of the awkwardness between Snape and Ron, Hermione and Ron, and Hermione and Harry was ever told. That was also a silent agreement, even though Emily could have told. It didn't include her.

They told them about the sixth day, when they went Christmas shopping…by conjuring up presents.

Then on Christmas, which was, their seventh day trapped, they told about their presents. They didn't describe their presents, but they described Snape's.

The door suddenly swung open. "Here be the lil' kitty Sev'rus." Penny mewed in the palm of Hagrid's hand. He set her on the floor. She looked up at Hagrid, with her bright eyes, and mewed.

Snape knew she wasn't sure if she was supposed to stay on the floor, or jump on someone. Emily had taught her well. "Penny, come here." Snape said in his deep, ever so mysterious voice.

She cried again, and ran to Snape's bed. She was too small to jump on it, so she pawed the bed. Snape sighed and bent over and picked her up. She started to purr and she got comfortable in his lap. He and Emily started to pet her.

Everyone looked at Snape. Except you know, Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Emily, Now, everyone was surprised. They weren't sure if they should be scared…or afraid.

"Err…" Sirius began.

"She's my kitten." Snape growled.

Everyone got the hint, and became quiet.

"And then we wound up here on the eighth night!" Hermione said.

All the MOM officials and reporters and such left, they concluded that that was the end of their stories.

"Now I want some answers!" Harry demanded. It kind of hurt, but Madame Promfrey gave him a pain relief potion…

"What would you like to know, Mr. Potter?" Dumbledore said.

"Why was this such a bad snow storm, in front of Emily's store?" Harry asked.

Everyone turned to look at Fred and George. Except, you know, Snape, Emily, Ron, Harry, and Hermione.

"Yes, tell us what you did."

-----

"You see, last week me and Fred had a special mission. It was to- trap you two," George said, pointing to Emily and Snape. "and at first, we saw two people leaving, so we automatically thought it was you two leaving the store. The spell we used was only supposed to work for barely twenty-four hours. I remember Fred cursed the Death Eaters of the world. Don't know why. Anyway, we used the snow spell, thinking it wouldn't last, but since the wind was blowing, and everything, we used it way to hard.

"That was probably why you were stuck in there for awhile." George explained

"Oh! And the list…about size six or something? It was supposed to disappear once you entered the store, so it looked like Snape didn't have to go there in the first place. We didn't realize that Ron, Harry, and Hermione were in the shop with you. Neville saw you, so we thought you were kidnapped." Fred added.

"And Peter Pettigrew escaped from Azkaban prison. He was talking about the five, and we thought that was you." Remus said.

"That letter you sent to Ginny didn't help either." Mrs. Weasley said to Harry.

Harry kind of felt bad…real bad.

"Oh…that explains a lot." Ron said.

Snape snapped. "SO YOU WENT TO LOCK ME UP WITH EMILY!"

"You didn't want to be with me?" Emily asked, with a hint of sadness in her voice.

"That's not what I meant." Snape replied.

"YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ME! AFTER ALL WE DID TOGETHER!" Emily yelled angrily. She jumped off the bed and went back to her own. She threw the covers over her head.

There was an awkward silence. "I believe Potter and Granger need rest. Weasley too. Let's just let them sleep." McGonagall suggested.

Everyone agreed, and they left. Ron realized that Hermione was asleep on his shoulder. He wasn't sure where to sleep. On her bed…or his own…

Penny was purring like crazy, but Snape set her aside. He needed to apologize to Emily. He got up from his bed and went to hers.

"I'm sorry Emily." Snape cried.

Emily pulled the blankets out from over her head and glared at him.

"Honestly, I meant it! I do want to be with you Emy!" Awkward silence. Luckily Harry was asleep, Ron was still trying to figure out where to sleep, and Madame Promfrey was in her office.

Emily's face softened. "I forgive you Sevvy." She sat up and gave him a hug. Snape didn't need to have Ron's advice for this one. Molly taught him well. He hugged back.

When they broke the hug, Madame Promfrey came in and told them to go back to bed. Snape waited patiently as she moved the beds back to their original places. By now Ron made his descision. He was asleep, Hermione against his shoulder.

Snape gently put Penny on his chest. He sighed and stared at the ceiling. 'Maybe the shopping trip wasn't as bad as I thought.'

_**THE END**_

-----

Voldemort looked angrily at the daily prophet. He slammed it on the ground and started to pout. "I SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT OF THE FIVE!"

_**THE END…Maybe…or Epilogue soon…**_

BB/N: I think Naomi and I are going to write another fanfic together. It's about Cho Chang and Ron…How Cho likes Ron, but Ron likes Hermione. It'll be very interesting nonetheless. Anyway, I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and maybe…

MO/N: I loved writing this story. I hope I can think of another plot like this soon for my own name.

LOVE FOREVA AND EVA

-Bob Bennit and Megumi Ohira

-Janet and Naomi

BB/N: BEFORE I FORGET!! I never posted the summary to that one story that my brother is halfheartedly making! He's been busy and whatnot! So it'll be in the...actually I might just post it and hope people like it.


	13. Epilogue

**Shopping **

**Summary**: The Professors voted for Snape to do something against his will. Shopping. He is made to shop for each and everyone of the Professors. So when one of them has something odd on the list, what will he do? And what do Harry, Ron, Hermione, and lingerie have to do with it? What is the outcome?

BB/N: It's after Christmas! Merry Christmas to everyone!

**Epilogue**

Ron grabbed Hermione's hand. "Come on! There's Snape! He's by chance visiting Emily."

Ron pulled Hermione along, until they were behind some bushes across the street from 'One Size Fits All'. Snape went inside, without any hesitation. He just walked into a knicker store.

It had been a year since the whole…incident, and now Ron and Hermione were in Hogsmeade. Two reason's why. One, it was Dumbledore's birthday, and they were getting him a present, two, they were following Snape.

They would have laughed at him, but they just decided to follow him inside. As soon as they got in, they dropped to the floor, and crawled to the nearest shelf. "James Bond." Hermione said.

"I like this game." Ron added.

They peered through a crack in the shelf, and Snape and Emily. They were talking, not knowing that Ron and Hermione were in the store.

"What are you guy's doing?" somebody said.

Ron almost screamed, but Hermione clamped one hand over Ron's mouth, and she used her other one to pull off the invisibility cloak. She knew where it was…even though it was invisible. "Don't ever do that again Harry."

Ron was trying to regulate his breathing.

Harry kneeled down next to Hermione. "Sorry." They, now including Harry, watched Emily and Snape.

-----

"So Emily, what are you going to do today?" Snape asked.

"I'm going to do this." She walked around the counter, and kneeled down, in front of Snape. She put a ring on her finger. "Will you marry me?"

Snape was surprised, but then looked at the ring. "Isn't that the ring I was going to use to propose to you?"

"Yes." Emily said.

"You were in my room?" Snape asked.

"Yes, it was dark. I tripped over something."

"You broke my vase? I could have swore Penny did it. I put her in the corner." Snape said.

"Well…I did…Sorry. Now answer my question." She demanded.

Snape wasn't expecting this turn of events. But he smiled at Emily.

BB/N: Snape is defiantly OOC…!

"Yes I will."

Emily jumped up and squealed. She stood about an inch away from Snape's face. "Now a soft kiss -- Aye, by that kiss, I vow an endless bliss." Emily whispered. Snape pulled her closer and kissed her.

-----

"One kiss from rosy lips, and I fear no storm or rock!" Hermione whispered.

"Well, I'm leaving." Ron said.

"Count me in." Harry said.

"You both have to stay." Hermione said, pulling Harry and Ron down.

It made a loud thump. Snape and Emily broke away from their kiss. Snape looked around. At this point, he could see Harry, Ron, and Hermione, if he looked their way. He looked around the store in the opposite direction, and Harry, Ron, and Hermione crawled to another part of the store.

"That was weird." Emily said.

"Let's go up to Hogwarts for a little bit." Snape said.

He held out his hand, and Emily grabbed it. They made their way out of the store, and then Emily came back in the store. Snape was with her. "Forgot to lock up. I use this spell that I made up. Only I can unlock it." Emily pulled out her wand, and did some complex wand work. She muttered several spells, then grabbed Snape's hand again. "Okay, lets go, Sevvy." She teased.

"I'm with you…Emy." Snape said, with a smile. It made Harry and Ron cringe. Snape and Emily left, shutting the door tightly behind them.

Hermione suddenly jumped up into the air. "We're locked in! WE ARE **_LOCKED_** IN!"

She began banging on the window. No one saw her. Ron looked around. He was starting to get panicky. He passed out.

Harry sighed, and leaned against the wall. 'Here we go again.' He thought.

-----

BB/N Thank you everyone! I really enjoyed writing this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it. Now, of course, I have a sister. What did you think? LoL

Pointless, I know. Anyway, I would like to thank all the reviewers! Your names should be posted after Naomi's note.

MO/N: Love the story. The idea of the story above is from me! I don't know where it came from.

BB/N: Again, I would like it if everyone acknowledges the death of Jerry Obach. He was in Dirty Dancing, and Law and Order. He passed away from colon cancer on December 28th. He was an excellent actor…

**Thank You:**

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